The Gift is you...

Insipiring Top 10 CNN Hero Award Show

2011-12-14T16:06:00.000-05:00

Amy Stokes, CNN Hero, with (from left) Dana Gold, Infinite Family Founding Director of Programs, Lesley Yaniv, IF Video Mentor who nominated Amy for the award and Katy Keck, Chair, Infinite Family Board of Directors.

Although Amy Stokes, Founder and Executive Director of Infinite Family, was not chosen as the top CNN Hero of 2011, she was one of an inspirational few to grace the stage on December 11th during the live broadcast.

Amy's journey as a CNN Hero would never have happened had it not been for you all:

The Video Mentors who spend hours in preparation in order to understand and guide their Net Buddy.
The Net Buddies who show up each week in order to learn and grow and achieve with the guidance of their mentor.
All of you and all of the IF staff and board who pour your hearts and souls into Amy's vision...into this wonderful thing we call Infinite Family.

So we thank you.

For loyally voting each day and enduring that "captcha" over and over again.
For telling your friends and family and cajolling them to vote, too.
For all the Facebook posts and emails and postcards you passed out.
For every hopeful action you took to support Amy's bid for CNN HERO, we say thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Of all the things we saw during the CNN Heroes Tribute Show, one of the most inspiring was to see the faces of our buddies and our mentors beaming full of hope and excitement for all the world to see. The world knows about their work now. They are inspiring millions across the globe.

Our Net Buddies really, truly are OUR HEROES. We are so glad that now the world knows, too.

We thank you again.

Dana

Save the Children launches Video Chat in Bolivia with Infinite Family!

2011-05-25T14:07:00.001-04:00

For the first time, Infinite Family is bringing its unique video technology and video conferencing expertise to Save the Children’s sponsored children in Oruro, Bolivia. 35 children there are seeing and speaking with their American sponsors via video conversation technology over the internet, providing a personal connection between sponsors and children that has not previously been possible.

Infinite Family pioneered face-to-face video mentoring using technology in 2006 and has continued to improve its capabilities so that the children and their sponsors have optimal connections during their weekly 30-minute video chats. Save the Children is a world leader in creating educational and community development programs that support children growing up in very challenging circumstances. They have been working with Infinite Family since early 2010 to design and develop a video conversation platform that meets Save the Children’s unique needs.

STC sponsors were trained in the technology over a two-week period and have been connected with their sponsored children since mid-May for their video chats. "I can't think of a better way to support Save the Children's mission than to create a personal bond with my sponsored child in this way," said one of the sponsors.

Founder and Executive Director Amy Stokes says, “We are thrilled to work with Save the Children to add the power of worldwide personal relationships as another way their committed sponsors can play an increasing role in helping the children they support financially. And, we are excited to extend the reach of video mentoring to children in South America.”

BBC Outlook: Video Mentoring with Infinite Family

2011-04-28T09:49:00.000-04:00

Mbali and Sheila, Net Buddies with Infinite Family since 2007, share their story of connection across cultures and generations in this moving BBC piece.

Catch Mbali and Sheila's story at 18:40, directly following the piece on the Belarus underground theater company.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00fvmx1#synopsis

Infinite Family Volunteers Appreciated from the US to South Africa!

2011-04-14T09:45:00.000-04:00

Zoleka Petse at Tsogang Sechaba Opening

Zoleka Petse, Infinite Family’s South Africa Coordinator, skillfully and confidently steers Infinite Family on the ground in South Africa. “Zo,” as she is affectionately known, is an effervescent and passionate leader who does everything from training the Net Buddies to creating new partnerships to managing NGO relationships and intervening with Net Buddies who need extra love and support. One of Zo’s favorite tasks is working with Infinite Family volunteers and video mentors.

We asked Zo, in honor of Volunteer Appreciation Month, to reflect on what makes our Infinite Family volunteers and video mentors so special.

Despite the many challenges to the program’s growth and smooth operation, Zo is energized by the driven and motivated team of volunteers. On the hardest days, she keeps going by knowing that Infinite Family volunteers and video mentors bring a smile to so many little faces.

Most of Infinite Family’s Net Buddies live in shacks without running water or electricity, with parents or guardians that are either unemployed, too sick to care for them or dealing with significant family problems. Our video mentors become the children’s lifeline as they cope with these very challenging circumstances. The Net Buddies can share their thoughts, feelings and frustrations with mentors who care.

“I witness a lot of children who have so much sadness and hopelessness in their lives light up every time their video mentor’s name is mentioned” says Zo. “Their eyes shine after their video conversations or when they open an email from their mentor. Watching the Net Buddies as they begin to look forward to the next day with hope because someone cares about them is so inspiring!”

“It is an honor for me to work with such selfless people. I salute all of Infinite Family’s volunteers and video mentors for the wonderful gift they are giving our children.”

“The Net Buddies of Infinite Family don’t have someone to listen to their fears, their dreams or even their daily lives. Video Mentors can be that person and it matters.”

2011-03-30T10:11:00.000-04:00

Infinite Family Video Mentor Kelsey Kempter and her husband, Joe.

On Wednesday morning at 9:30 from her Colorado home, Kelsey Kempter readies herself for her video conversation with Thokozani, a 12 year old boy orphaned by HIV/AIDs and living in an orphanage with his sister.

Kelsey, who works for Sylvan Learning Center as the Director of Education, has a passion for working with children. She was attracted to Infinite Family because she saw it as a new way to be in contact with children from around the world. She says, “I show up each week because I have a friend expecting me to be there for him.”

On Wednesdays in Johannesburg, South Africa, Thokozani comes back to the orphanage from school, does his homework and then lines up outside the computer lab. He patiently waits for it to be 4:30, when it is his turn to speak with Kelsey during their weekly 30 minute video conversation.

When Thokozani sees Kelsey, he smiles brightly. When asked what he likes about his time with Kelsey, Thokozani replies, “Kelsey makes me happy and brings a smile on my face. She asks me about school, my week and my day. I like her because I talk to her about everything and she teaches me about computers.”

Thokozani values his time with Kelsey, because “I have learned how to talk to other people nicely. I have learned respect. I have learned how to love other people around me and myself. I love Kelsey so much.”

Through Infinite Family Kelsey has gained the perspective “that no matter where children are from or what experiences they have been through, they want the same thing. Being a child is universal. Children want to be loved. Children want to do well in school. They want to have friends. Children want to know that someone cares for them and loves them.”

When asked why the work of Infinite Family is so important, Kelsey took a global perspective. “Children are our future. It doesn’t matter if we are in the same school, city, state or country, caring for our children will help us to have a brighter future. Some of the most valuable moments I have spent through Infinite Family are the times when Thokozani and I are just in the company of each other. It doesn’t take a lot to make a difference. Letting someone know you care and showing them by committing your time makes a difference. The children we work with don’t always have someone to listen to their fears, or their dreams or even their daily lives. Through Infinite Family, we can be that person and it matters.”

The Privilege of Struggle

2011-01-28T13:59:00.002-05:00

In Memory of Sthandiwe

When I first travelled to Nkosi’s Haven in 2006, Sthandiwe was too sick to come to the computer lab. I became acquainted with her through the photos taped to Heather’s office wall. A little bushy haired girl in a pink sweater. A slight child holding a teddy bear. A little girl who crayoned words of affection and love for Gail, Heather and the staff at the Haven.

Standiwe struggled through her short life. Struggled with an illness that takes so many. Struggled with the challenges of being a teenager without a direction. Struggled to find the love she so craved as an orphaned girl who’s heart never seemed to find enough…enough attention, enough love, enough loyalty to fill her up.

Sthandiwe struggled. Like so many teenagers all over the world, Sthandiwe struggled. Her hard choices and missteps were not unusual or unique.

But Sthandiwe’s struggle ended too soon. Today, Sthandiwe is at peace.

Being at peace is not a goal the living should fulfill at the age of 20-anything.

Being at peace is the absence of struggle. And struggle is part of living. Struggle is what we do. Struggle is a symptom of the resilient, always-seeking human spirit. Sthandiwe’s young soul would not let her settle. It pushed her to seek out the answer to questions that are planted in all of us.

Who will love us? Will we realize and use our God-given gifts? Who will admire us for our strengths and in spite of our faults? Where will we find fulfillment for our restless spirit?

Sthandiwe did not get to answer those questions.

Sthandiwe’s struggle ended too soon, before she could find the answers, fill her spirit, live into her promise.

That is the fault of the virus, of AIDs. Not the fault of Sthandiwe.

So, please, do not blame her struggle for the shortness of her life. Blame the virus.

We will miss her. We mourn that her questions will not be answered, her gifts unrealized, her love left unfound.

Sthandiwe‘s struggle was rewarded with peace.

Peace is the reward of the dead.

Let us strive for the reward of the living. Let us be grateful for the privilege to struggle and strive and live into finding our own answers for the questions planted within us.

And in our struggle, let us strive also for a cure. An end to the bringer of untimely peace. An end to HIV.

The Lazarus Effect: New Life through a Blog

2011-01-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

When we were designing the blog on the Ezomndeni Net, the password protected internet platform where Net Buddies and their mentors interact, we had no idea how it would be used. We were hopeful that the children would write about their lives. We were hoping they would practice their English and improve their grammar skills. We hoped that it would be a forum for exchanging ideas.

Our hopes were not only realized, but exceeded beyond our imaginings.

The children are giving us their rawest emotions, their deepest hurts, their highest hopes...their dreams.

I've shared some of the posts. I've shared some of the trust that the children are placing in the community of Infinite Family.

The words jump from the page in neon green, or rainbow fonts. They are punctuated with smiley faces.

The words are misspelled. Capitalization is ignored. The blogs stand stark and bold, quickly offered snapshots of their internal world.

We are given such a gift in these words. Amazingly tender reflections on their brothers and sisters and grandmothers. Sweeping wisdom in the span of four lines.

We are very blessed by these children. Not just us, the community of Infinite Family, but the world. What these children have to teach us from their perspective and experience of life is so profound. Life lived without a mother. Life lived in the grips of poverty and deprivation. But life still lived. Lived fully. Lived with hope. Life lived with threadbare shirts ironed crisply, symbols of their intention to succeed. Their spotless school uniforms ask with dignity that they be taken not just seriously, but demand that we see them in terms of their intentions for themselves.

And they intend BIG things. Pilots, doctors, lawyers. Social workers, actors, writers.

Their crisply ironed shirts and the well groomed hair are what they can control in their lives. It is their way to say to the world...I am. I am this boy here. This boy with the clean face and the completed homework. I am not to be defined by the hunger I experience. I am not to be defined by the virus that runs through my veins. I am who I choose to be.

And I choose life.

I choose a future.

The pain is knowing how little choice they may have.

We need to make choices available to them. The choice to live a life extended by affordable medication. The choice to be able to use their skills and talents and passions to impact their world...their families, their communities, their country.

I want these children to impact my life, my world, the future. I want these children to be the leaders of their country. I believe in these children. Passionately believe in them.

I want you to believe in them, too.

We make it easy. 30 minutes a week from the comfort of your own home. A computer, a webcam and a headset...the tools to change your life...change a child's whole world...and our world, too. And if you don't have the time, support someone who does by giving a donation to IF on our website: www.infinitefamily.org

CNN Selects Amy Stokes as First “CNN Hero” of 2011

2011-01-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

Founder of Infinite Family recognized for establishing only mentoring program using weekly video conversations to foster long-term nurturing relationships

New York, NY – January 13, 2011 – CNN today kicked-off its fifth annual “CNN Heroes” campaign, which seeks to identify ordinary individuals who go to extraordinary lengths to serve others, by announcing that it has selected Amy Stokes, Founder and Executive Director of Infinite Family, as the first CNN Hero of 2011. Pioneering an innovative approach to mentoring, Amy has been recognized for her efforts to connect African children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty with mentors around the world using video technology.

Through Infinite Family, an international organization she founded in 2006, Amy is dedicated to using technology as a way for adults around the world to nurture and support children challenged by HIV/AIDS and poverty who have little support and are faced with few choices. Without the appropriate life-skills and guidance, it would be nearly impossible for these children to grow up to be successful leaders of their families, their communities, and their countries.

By providing such key resources and support networks, Infinite Family inspires and motivates these children, allowing them to build the confidence, skills and global perspective that promote success. Today, early evaluations point to children’s clear gains in English, computer literacy, self-confidence, conflict resolution and problem solving skills. In addition, Infinite Family mentors report a uniquely inspiring experience and seek greater involvement. To learn more about Infinite Family and how you can become involved, please visit the newly-re-launched website at www.infinitefamily.org.

To read more about Amy and her work, please visit her dedicated profile page on CNNHeroes.com. A special broadcast tribute, “2011 CNN Heroes: Amy Stokes,” will also be airing according to the following schedule, breaking news contingent (please note that all times given are Eastern Standard Time):

Friday, January 14:

CNN: (*8a likely) 2pm

HLN: 6:30am, 6pm (*8p likely)

CNNi: 2a, 7a, 7p

Saturday, January 15:

CNN: 3p, 10p

HLN: 2p

Monday, January 17:

CNN en Espanol: 7p (more airs possible)

About CNN Heroes

CNN Heroes is a multiplatform campaign that shines a spotlight on everyday people who are changing the world. In 2010, the campaign received over 10,000 submissions from more than 100 countries. The Top 10 CNN Heroes will be selected later in the year by an esteemed Blue Ribbon Panel, which in 2010 included the likes of Muhammad Ali, Sir Richard Branson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges and Ricky Martin, among other humanitarians. More information on CNN Heroes, please visit: http://www.CNNHeroes.com.

About Infinite Family

Infinite Family is an international organization that connects African children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty, one on one, with mentors from around the world through video technology. Via webcams, computers, and a secure, interactive internet platform, caring adults around the world see and speak weekly with their “Net Buddies,” motivating them to define and work toward their goals and helping them learn academic, technology and life skills. It starts with a face-to-face weekly conversation through the computer, but quickly becomes so much more. The impact of these relationships is profound on both ends of the relationship, expanding interest in all things South African through its mentor base in five countries, including South Africa, and across the U.S.

Infinite Family NGO partners include group homes and after-school programs with outreach to Berea, Alexandra and Soweto townships and informal settlements. Early evaluations point to children’s clear gains in English, computer literacy, self-confidence, conflict resolution and problem solving skills. In addition, Infinite Family mentors report a uniquely inspiring experience and seek greater involvement.

Infinite Family is a 501c3 charity. All donations are fully tax-deductible. To learn more, please visit the Infinite Family website at: http://www.infinitefamily.org.

Infinite Family: Changing the world one video conversation...and poem...at a time!

2010-12-14T14:18:00.000-05:00

Tekomodise loves writing his blogs on Infinite Family’s Ezomndeni Net. He writes about kind strangers on the streets of Soweto and his adventures with his friends at school, but recently, when his writing took on an angry tone, Infinite Family video mentor Barbara Scott, grew concerned.

Barbara knew that Tekomodise would arrive breathless at their weekly video conversations, having run to the computer lab all the way from school. Barbara knew that their 30 minutes together each week was so precious that Tekomodise didn’t want to miss a minute.

When Tekomodise began to share his sadness and loneliness, Barbara wanted to find something she could give him, some present that would carry him through their time apart to encourage him when he felt most hopeless.

So Barbara wrote Tekomodise a poem. As Infinite Family’s gift to you this holiday season, we would like to share with you Tekomodise’s present from Barbara, her poem.

Tekomodise’s Present

There was a young man sitting on the steps all alone,

He was angry at his life and he did not want to go home.

He felt no one understood him or cared about his needs,

He thought no one cared for him - his anger planted a seed.

A seed of fear, hatred and pain started to grow in his heart,

A feeling of sadness and loneliness seemed to never part.

Until one day God sent his Net Buddy, a forever friend far away,

To bring the young man love and joy each and every Saturday.

His mentor wants to help him dream big dreams for tomorrow,

Think of all the possibilities of happiness with no more sorrow.

She wants to be there to share with him, experience and teach,

And tell him of all the opportunities that are close - within reach.

She knows that there is hope for brighter days to come,

Because she was once a little girl sitting on the steps all alone.

She had not many friends and a shack that she called home,

No money for shoes, for games, or for fun.

But one day God blessed her with a mentor to call her own,

He taught her about all the things she could become when she was grown.

He believed in her future, before she believed it herself,

And now she lives her dreams and offers her Net Buddy help.

Dreams do come true,

Faith replaces fear,

Tekomodise, my dear Net Buddy, in my heart you are near.

Please consider giving this holiday season to support the relationships between struggling young teenagers in South Africa and generous and kind adults around the world. Help Infinite Family change the world with one video conversation – and one poem -- at a time.

Wishing you and all you love a very joyous holiday season

from Infinite Family!

British Telecommunications Refurbishes New Infinite Family Computer Lab at Nkosi's Haven Village!

2010-12-09T15:58:00.000-05:00

BT HELPS CHILDREN AND MOTHERS OF NKOSI’S HAVEN IN SOUTH AFRICA REACH FOR A BETTER FUTURE

BT South Africa today announced the official opening of a communications centre at the Nkosi’s Haven Village for HIV positive mothers and children in Alan Manor, south of Johannesburg.

The brand new BT-sponsored facility provides resident teenagers with video-conferencing technology enabling them to chat with their mentors and buddies around the world, share photos and video and get help with homework remotely by using modern collaboration tools.

The Nkosi’s Haven communications centre has been developed in partnership with Infinite Family, a US-based organisation that connects children infected or orphaned by HIV/AIDS with adult video mentors in South Africa and around the world using a secure Internet platform. More than 50 children from the Nkosi’s Village will take part in the programme.

The facility will also be used to train up to 30 mothers in computer skills, broadening their chances of finding employment outside of Nkosi’s Haven.

Keith Matthews, general manager, BT South Africa, said at the opening ceremony, “BT is proud to be involved in this project as it reaches the most vulnerable in our society. The project enables youngsters to significantly improve their career prospects by acquiring much needed computer skills. It is a logical continuation of our local involvement and builds on the previous work BT has done in the education area.”

Gail Johnson, founding director of Nkosi’s Haven, believes the new facility will augment the children’s ability to communicate confidently and effectively with their Net Buddies from all walks of life.

Gail Johnson said, “Nkosi’s Haven is grateful for BT’s generous sponsorship. This new facility will help our kids stay in touch with their Infinite Family-approved mentors whose life training skills will improve their confidence and will equip them to overcome some of their disadvantages. Internet mentoring provides our kids with an opportunity to make many new friends around the globe and to broaden their horizons which will assist in making their lives a success.”

Amy Stokes, founder and executive director of Infinite Family, said: "Nkosi's Haven was our first, and is our strongest South African NGO partnership. We love these children like our own and have been thrilled to watch them grow over the past four years from shy and confused teens into confident and vibrant young adults. It is an honour to work and 'expand the family' with Nkosi's Haven and BT."

In addition to providing personal computers and networking equipment valued at R100,000 BT also made available its telepresence room at the company’s Bryanston office. Telepresence is a modern video conferencing technology that creates an illusion of the meeting participants being in the same room by deploying high-definition video and sound. Infinite Family and Nkosi’s Haven will use telepresence to conduct high-level group mentoring.

Keith Matthews added, “BT’s South African staff have rallied together to make this facility a success. Two weeks ago many of our staff volunteered to paint this facility inside and outside. It was a great opportunity for them to interact with the mothers and kids and to try and envisage the challenges that they live with and to appreciate how this new facility will impact on their lives.”

- ends -

About BT

BT is one of the world’s leading providers of communications solutions and services operating in more than 170 countries. Its principal activities include the provision of networked IT services globally; local, national and international telecommunications services to our customers for use at home, at work and on the move; broadband and internet products and services and converged fixed/mobile products and services. BT consists principally of four lines of business: BT Global Services, Openreach, BT Retail and BT Wholesale.

In the year ended 31 March 2010, BT Group’s revenue was £20,911 million.

British Telecommunications plc (BT) is a wholly-owned subsidiary of BT Group plc and encompasses virtually all businesses and assets of the BT Group. BT Group plc is listed on stock exchanges in London and New York.

For more information, visit www.bt.com/aboutbt

About Nkosi’s Haven

Inspired by Nkosi Johnson and founded by his foster mother Gail Johnson, Nkosi’s Haven and Friends opened its first doors in Berea, Johannesburg in 1999. The Nkosi’s Haven projects include: the urban facilities of Nkosi’s Haven and Friends and Nashua Nkosi’s Haven in Berea, the semi-urban Nkosi’s Haven Village in Allan Manor, and the rural Nkosi’s Haven Farm near Vereeniging. The Nkosi’s Haven projects can accommodate 350 HIV-infected mothers and children. All educational, medical and nutritional needs are met by the projects. Nkosi’s Haven is a registered NGO 008 - 995 and is audited by KPMG. The annual financial statements are available on request.

For more information, visit http://www.nkosishaven.org/

About Infinite Family

Infinite Family is an international organization that inspires and motivates teens and pre-teens with very limited resources or support networks in South Africa, so they build the confidence, skills and global perspective that promote success. A secure, highly-interactive online environment supports the video conversations between “Net Buddies,” adult video mentors and South African mentees. Almost 300 South African teens and pre-teens have worked with video mentors to improve their academic, communication, technological and life skills since the organization was founded in 2006 by Amy Stokes. Infinite Family is registered as a 501(c)(3) non-profit charity in the United States. Registration as a South African NGO is pending. Annual financial statements are available upon request.

For more information, please visit www.infinitefamily.org and view our videos at http://www.youtube.com/infinitefamily

Infinite Family Braai Benefit 2010

2010-10-14T16:24:00.001-04:00

Siyabonga: Poet Engineer

2010-09-24T17:13:00.002-04:00

Siyabonga wakes each morning to the gray light of early dawn seeping through the gaps between the corrugated metal & cardboard which make up the walls of his home. He rises, dresses in his frayed school uniform and hurries to the open tap in the center of his community. Siyabonga lives with his mother and younger brother in a squatter camp called Drummond on the outskirts of Johannesburg, South Africa. He waits his turn to get water from the tap, the central ingredient in his morning tea, his only nourishment before trudging off to school.

School is an almost 4 mile walk down the side of a busy, paved road. Siyabonga composes poetry as he walks, committing each line to memory with each step. A rhythm for his rhymes.

Siyabonga worries about his upcoming matriculation exams. He struggles with math and dreams to go on to University to study engineering. Without the proper books or instruction, he knows that passing the test will be close to impossible.

A chaotic and crowded school day passes and a long walk home awaits him. Siyabonga needs to hurry home to complete his homework and chores before darkness falls, as homework by kerosene light leaves him with headaches.

But before he heads home, Siyabonga makes a detour.

Siyabonga navigates his way through a dusty field and across a swinging bridge over a ravine. Then he climbs the steps to a small brick building with a satellite dish atop it. He opens the door to a brightly painted room with computers distributed on desks throughout the room. He hurries to a work station.

Siyabonga types in the web address of Infinite Family’s Ezomndeni Net. He signs in with his password, checks his email and quickly opens his blog page to add this morning’s carefully memorized poem to his blog. With a few more clicks, he adjusts the webcam, puts on his headset and writes that same poem on the video conferencing room’s whiteboard as he anticipates the arrival of his Infinite Family Video Mentor, Chuck. Soon, Chuck’s face emerges beside Siyabonga’s on the screen. They smile and trip over each other’s words with the eagerness of their greetings.

Chuck has found some practice tests for the matric exam on a website. He shares his computer screen with Siyabonga so that he can see what the test looks like. Siyabonga efficiently types the web address into the weblinks dialogue box. He bookmarks the webpage and saves it in a file with his name on it. Chuck praises Siyabonga’s poem and helps him polish the spelling of a few words. They alternate between laughter and furrowed brows as they share the details of their weeks with one another.

Soon, their 30 minutes together comes to a close. Siyabonga is encouraged on his walk home. He has hope for the exams because his mentor, a man he has only ever seen on a computer screen, is actively advocating for him.

Cars speed past this lanky boy headed back to his shack, one of so many boys in so many shacks. But this boy knows he is different. This boy knows that a community of caring adults reads his carefully constructed and heartfelt poems. This boy knows that a man who lives in Pittsburgh, PA has his picture on his mantle and spends time each week working to make Siyabonga’s dreams come true. Dreams of a future that don’t have him walking home to a shack, but have him entering a University classroom and a whole new world of opportunity.

This boy and so many boys and girls just like Siyabonga are learning the geography of an email field and the limitless possibilities of technology. They are using the resources of the internet to expand their horizons and support their community. The growing community of Infinite Family Net Buddies are overcoming these obstacles with the love, insight and opportunity presented to them by the Video Mentors of Infinite Family.

We ask you to become involved with this groundbreaking intervention in the life of children so often forgotten in our world. With just a few hours each month, from the comfort of your own home, you can help to open the door to new opportunities for children just like Siyabonga.

Visit our website and become a Video Mentor or support the work of Infinite Family with your tax deductible contribution.

Infinite Family, where the gift is you!

New Life for a Net Buddy

2010-09-13T10:55:00.002-04:00

Ayanda lived in a crime-ridden apartment building, with no furniture, little food and no parents. After losing his father and then his mother to HIV/AIDs, he and his younger brothers were moved to Nkosi’s Haven. Ayanda was shy, awkward, and traumatized by his experience.

At Nkosi’s Haven, things improved significantly, but he stayed “at the back of his class”, distracted and unmotivated. That is, until he met Betty and Dave Voigt, who live in a log cabin in Sycamore, PA. Within six months of their video mentoring relationship, which began in June of 2006, Ayanda was at the head of the class. By the end of 2007, he was “Head Boy,” the highest title awarded in a class. He remained “Head Boy” until graduating from High School in 2008.

Off to university, Ayanda struggled. His long-time dream of working in IT (information technology) seemed to come to a halt. But through Infinite Family and our friends at Bombardier Transportaion, who knew Ayanda through the career development program he participated in with them, an interview was arranged.

Just two weeks after the interview, Ayanda was hired as the first man in their previously female-dominated Learnership program.

Ayanda’s supervisor at Bombardier reports :

Ayanda is confident, has started helping people on his own now, and is really becoming a part of the Bombardier family. Ayanda really impressed me at our last induction session where he got up and told a group of strangers his life story. He really has achieved so much and I must admit that I am sure he will go really far!

In addition, they have drafted him to play lead on the company’s soccer squad!

Ayanda reports that that he works hard, has made lots of new friends, takes notes every day on what he is learning, and will be helping to manage the network when one of the IT members leaves at the end of the month. He calls it his “new life.”

He also wrote that he will be part of the Bombardier team that is going to build a house in an apartheid era township outside of Johannesburg.

Ayanda says, “I hope I build a strong house for them so that it can be a home for them, that I didn’t have of my own. I will make sure it is a strong house.”

With your help, Infinite Family can continue to inspire and guide South Africa’s teens to work toward their futures. Give today, to support the work that inspires & prepares the South African leaders of tomorrow!

Africa After Work!

2010-09-07T13:42:00.000-04:00

AFRICA AFTER WORK AND INFINITE FAMILY ARE JOINING FORCES FOR A HAPPY HOUR EVENT ON SEPTEMBER 14TH! JOIN US FOR DRINKS AND MEET LIKE MINDED INDIVIDUALS IN A FUN, UPBEAT AND EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT! $15 IN ADVANCE OR $20 AT THE DOOR INCLUDES ONE DRINK: RED OR WHITE WINE, PROSECCO, OR BEER Additional drinks - cash bar Infinite Family, a 501c3 charity, is the only mentoring program using weekly video conversations to establish long-term nurturing relationships. These relationships with adults internationally are designed to inspire and motivate teens and pre-teens with very limited resources or support networks in Sub-Saharan Africa, so they build the confidence, skills and global perspective that promote success. www.infinitefamily.org All for Africa, a 501 (c) 3 organization, takes a collaborative approach to poverty reduction by working with the private sector to foster projects that generate economic and social benefits in the communities in which they are located. Our programs focus on agriculture, clean water, community health, education, energy, environmental impact, micro-financing and skills training/livelihood creation www.allforafrica.org Africa After Work is a Business and Social Networking opportunity for professionals, students and entrepreneurs in the New York Metro Region who are interested in Africa and African development. http://www.allforafrica.org/joinin/africa-after-work/ When: Tuesday September 14, 6-8pm Where: 44 1/2 626 10th Avenue Between 44th and 45th New York, NY 10036 Fee: $15 includes a complimentary drink Click here for online reservations: http://www.infinitefamily.org/event

The Journey of a Lifetime

2010-08-06T17:38:00.001-04:00

Summer is the season for travel. Lots of us have listened to the travel stories of friends and family and nothing sells a destination like an enthusiastic traveler who has just returned from an incredible journey.

I’d like to introduce you to someone still on the journey of a lifetime with Infinite Family. John Loehrer, who lives with his wife and baby in Gresham, Oregon, has traveled virtually to the orphanages of Refilwe and Nkosi’s Haven each week as a Video Mentor since March, 2009. He has had the opportunity to mentor 2 different boys, Lawrence, a 13 year old, and Tshidiso, a 14 year old, via Infinite Family’s unique internet platform and video conferencing desktop.

Here’s how John describes his “journey of a lifetime”!

How has your understanding of Africa or African culture changed since becoming a Video Mentor with Infinite Family?

When you think of Africa you tend only to think of those sad commercials on TV. Images of starving children. Words across the screen saying 'PLEASE HELP'. Now when I think of Africa, I think of smiling faces. Of hope. Kids are kids first, ya know? They are full of excitement. Full of possibility.

I've had the chance to work with two different kids so far. Each personality has been so different from the other. It messes up any real stereotypes I wanted to make about African culture.

Lawrence loves Jay-Z. He loves online games, especially kung-fu or karate games. In a few days he was beating me at my own favorite games. He likes to chatter away as he plays, keeping up the banter. Some people shout at the screen when they watch movies. Lawrence talks to the characters in the game, keeping them motivated. Sometimes he sings too. Very funny. Adorable.

Tshidiso is more analytical. The first day I met with him he was trying to trip me up on a math problem he had solved in school. He got this little grin on his face when I struggled for a second to come up with the answer. We were discussing the Fibonacci sequence the other day and he immediately picked up on the pattern just by looking at the sequence of numbers. He is so smart!

I don't know how well I could answer in-depth questions about African culture though. Lawrence told me a little bit about his trip to Nelson Mandela Square and the big statue there. But we usually just talk about day-to-day life. What's going on in school, stuff like that.

I do know a lot of Bafana Bafana soccer team players though! The Fifa World Cup was just a little while ago. Tshidiso drilled me on that stuff. Before the matches, he told me all about the players on the South African team. His favorite player is Teko Modise. I felt like I was studying for final exams every time because he would always quiz me about the players.

How would you describe your experience as an Infinite Family Video Mentor to someone who may hesitate to volunteer with because of their fear of a child being too needy or the experience being depressing?

I was really nervous going into it that it would be hard to really connect with my Net Buddy. Or that there would be nothing to talk about. I am not a psychologist. What do I know about being a mentor? But I found out that most of what I was worrying about didn't even matter.

I was putting too much pressure on myself to try to build a relationship with a kid right away. It takes time. Lots of little steps. Play some games. Watch some videos. Listen to what happened in their day. It's not too hard. Most of the time it is all jokes and games. Maybe that's because that's how I tend to relate to my younger family members.

I had to learn to lower my expectations. That sounds like a bad thing but it's not. I expected to have all these deep meaningful conversations with my Net Buddy. Maybe the time will come when we get to that point. But I think sharing in the little stuff is just as important. I am there to validate his life. To show him he is important to me in whatever way I can. If that means taking the time to play a game or joke around with him, I can do that.

Maybe someone else with a different personality than me is really great at getting a kid to open up and share their inner struggles and turmoil. That's not me. I like to laugh. What I guess I'm saying is that having a Net Buddy is like having a friend much like any other friend you'd have. Get to know them. Share your life. They share theirs. Take it from there. I just try to always be a positive influence. Always be encouraging and uplifting. No need to try to be a grief counselor or anything like that.

Neither of my Net Buddies really ever wanted to talk about their parents with me. That's fine. I respect their privacy. That's their personal life. If they bring it up, fine. If they want to talk about World Cup Soccer or a music video, that's fine too. If they want to try to school me in Fancy Pants Adventure, bring it on!

What do you think is the biggest gift you have received in your video mentoring relationship? Conversely, what would you say is the biggest gift you have given to your Net Buddy by being a Video Mentor?

The biggest gift is probably humility. You could call it embarrassment, I guess. But humility sounds nicer. One day Tshidiso was talking to me and he was interrupted by a friend who came into the lab and started talking to him in another language.

When the friend left I asked Tshidiso what language was that? Sesotho?

He said, 'No ... Zulu.'

I asked him how many languages he spoke.

'Five. How many do you speak?'

I had to admit I only speak English. It was a very humbling experience. It made me realize in that instant that he had as much to teach me as I had to teach him. Life dealt us very different cards to play, but one hand is not necessarily better.

Maybe I won't ever really know what my impact will be on my Net Buddy's life. At the very least, I know Lawrence can take on anyone in Electric Man 2. And Tshidiso has learned a whole library of internet phrases and emoticons for instant messaging and texting. But I hope it is much more than that. I hope they are seeing possibilities far beyond what they initially imagined for themselves.

What keeps you coming back each week?

I started Infinite Family because I wanted to give something back to the world. I've been given so many opportunities, you know? But I come back each week because it's fun. My Net Buddy is a riot. The technology doesn't always work the way we want it too. But we always have a good time.

For at least a few minutes out of my week, I know I am doing something that matters. And maybe when Lawrence becomes a world leader or Tshidiso solves the next world energy crisis, I can be there to take all the credit.

:P

Any other comments you'd like to make? Feel free!!

Video mentoring is like the first time off of a high dive. You just have to experience it to know what it is like. The scariest part is actually the anticipation before you jump in. Just do it already!

My Heart Skip a Bit: A Net Buddy Poem

2010-07-08T14:35:00.003-04:00

The Net Buddies of Infinite Family continue to inspire and educate us through their blogs. I hope you enjoy this entry by Ncesh as much as I do!

This poem came to me on June 16th. I was looking at the world so united and full of love and hope, and the sound came in my heart. It warmed my soul the feeling. I cannot explain but it was so good. I saw every one smiling and so happy. I remember talking to myself, saying "I wish it was always like this", and my heart skipped a bit.

Oh, South Africa, did you know that you can be this happy?

When you were beaten and assaulted, called by names,
did you know that the world will be looking at you
in a good way and happy for you? Not feeling pity, sorry, sad
because of the hard times?

My heart skip a bit.

You are flying high like an eagle, shining like a diamond!

My heart skip a bit.

You make us scream, "Oh!!!!"
No, our scream is for happiness
not from guns and teargas.
The Vuvuzela is not for the toitoi, it's for you.
We are calling to you. We say, "Go, Bafana, go!"

My heart skip a bit.

Nina nisibuyisele ithemba nisimanyile
like a silent rock
nenza sithethengazwinye.

My heart skip a bit.

Oh, South Africa, what joy you brought to the world.
Sonke sithetha ulwimi olunye -- we understand a language that we don't speak.
Just by the look of their faces,
the vuvuzela,
the outfits and the songs say it all.

And my heart skip a bit.

A "Lucky" Surprise from Jessica Alba!

2010-06-29T15:05:00.000-04:00

After we were at the park in NYC, we took a walk to Big Niko's where we really enjoy going for dinner. While we were there waiting for our food, Betsy showed us something really interesting. I still can't believe it till this moment. First, Betsy told us that she could fit her whole fist in her mouth and guess what? She put her whole fist in her mouth and it was so unbelievably amazing that it was stuck in my head to whole night.

So we came back to the apartment and I was still trying to figure out how she could possibly fit her fist in her mouth while typing my blog. Meanwhile we were waiting for Erin (Betsy's daughter) to arrive from Washington, DC . Then she arrived and we just all sat around the table while she was eating and Betsy asked if she's going to show me my surprise. Erin asked, "Does Lucky know about the surprise?" and I said "No". So she went to fetch an envelope, but not a normal size one, one just a bit bigger. Alan went and got the camera and asked Erin to come sit next to me and that made it even worse because I really did not know what was in the envelope.

So at that moment she pulled out a big photo that was taken of me next to my "dream board" in the boy's room at Nkosi's Haven. On that copy it was written "Lucky never underestimate the power of knowledge. Reach for the stars my friend! Much love Jessica Alba". I just went crazy!!! And not only that but as I was busy going crazy, Erin pulled out a photograph of Jessica Alba holding up that photo of me and my dream board that she had written on! I so could not believe it!!

Erin told me that she had spoken to Jessica Alba and now she knows who I am!! Erin works for The ONE Campaign and met Jessica when they traveled in Africa together. On my dream board I had a picture pasted of Jessica Alba and I don't really know how to thank Erin for letting the girl of my dreams know about me! It was just an amazing night which Erin has made for me. It was really hard to fall asleep after that and I eventualy slept properly at like 4:50. I guess I was a little too excited. It was a realy great surprise, I must say.

Overcoming fear...on a roller coaster! Net Buddy, Keneilwe, blogs about her experience at Kennywood Park!

2010-06-28T10:54:00.000-04:00

WOW!!! Monday the 14th of JUNE was the day I overcame my fear. We went to Kennywood Amusement Park. I left the house telling myself that I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER go on to the roller coasters except the easy ones.

My first ride was the Merry-Go-Round. That was so easy!

I don't know what convinced my heart to do the RACER roller coaster. I guess it was LUCKY, LORI and BETSY. I was nervous before the ride started. When I went on I was now cooled down . The best part of experiencing the ride was that the car I was is the one that won. The surprising thing is that when I got off I actually wanted more!

I went on to try the THUNDERBOLT. It was scary, but I did it like 3 times.

Then I thought I was too hot. I went to do the PITTSBURGH PLUNGE. There I got completely wet! I also did it 3 times! I went to try dry myself on the WHIP.

After the Whip, Christina and I went on to do the BIG and most SCARY PHANTOM'S REVENGE!! The moment I came off, I was all dry and dizzy. I didn't believe that it was me that went on the Phantom's Revenge.

At the end of the day everyone including myself was proud of me. Thanks to Christina and Lucky for going on most of the rides with me. If it was not for the two of them I was not going to do the roller coasters. Thanks Guys. Driving back home I was so tired, I just fell asleep in the car. IT WAS A GREAT DAY!! I ENJOYED IT!

Everything is "Just Ducky" in Pittsburgh...even the Pirates! Another blog by Lucky, visiting Net Buddy

2010-06-25T14:31:00.000-04:00

Here I am, having my breakfast and my apple juice. After that I just hanged around while watching t.v, drawing and patiently waiting for the time to get to 1:30, because this will be the time I will be getting on my first bus here in America and we will be hearding to town.

So we got to the bus stop and took a picture next to the bus stop sign and then continued to wait for our bus. After a few minutes the bus finally arrives and we got on. Well, it was realy comfortable but they turned the fans on so it started to get a little bit too cool but it was nice. After the nice ride we got to our fist stop which was in the city and we took a walk down to Betsy's work place. It felt so good to walk again and it was a nice day for that too, I must say.

When we arrived at Betsy's work we first met Susie who works with Betsy. What a very welcoming woman! Then I met Joe who also works there and after a minute or so while we were talking, Fred (who Betsy works for) came and he walked up with his hand out to shake mine and he said to me "well you must be from Switzerland right?" but I knew he was kidding. He gave me a paper weight which had the abbreviation of the name of where Betsy works and it was printed UMF (United Methodist Foundation). He said it is something which should make me remember where I was. I was realy honoured to have that as a gift.

Then things just go better, he invited me to step into his office and offered me to sit on his Big Chair and I had pictures taken while I was sitting on the chair and everyone was standing around me and I realy felt like I was the Boss (The Godfather). I also got to see photos of his children.

I then went to see where Betsy works (her office), and Joe showed me a lovely photo of his family. Betsy then took me around to where they would have their board meetings. Then Susie showed me pictures of her family and her grand children too who are twins. Then she offered me a soda that I had that on my way out because Betsy and I had a Just Ducky Tour to go to. Then we said goodbye to everyone.

Well before we went to the Just Ducky Tour we visited an Art institute where these works of art are on display by students. There were realy amazing work of art there and I know that, because I am an artist myself.

After that we continued with our little walk and the weather seemed to be pretty and we also had to cross a bridge over the Monogehala river. I asked how old the bridge was and Betsy wasn't sure so she took a photo of me on the bridge.

Then we had to get our Just Ducky Tour and so it finally arrived. We started by passing the bridge we walked over and it was built in 1883, so I guess I got my answer on how old the bridge was. On the Just Ducky Tour you learn a lot about the area and in this case I was learning a lot about Pittsburgh. I won't state everything that I have learned but one of the things is that Pittsburgh used to supply and a lot of steel to the world. I found out that it has produced more steel that Japan and Germany combined during the world wars. I learned a whole more other stuff as well.

The other thing about the Just Ducky is that it goes on land and also on water. I think a lot of people were waiting for the time when it gets to the water. When it got to the river it really floated! I was the first one in the group to drive it on water. It was a realy amazing experience!

We then walked back and Betsy called Alan to find out where we should meet him. We met him where he works. I got the chance to have photos taken with him at his work place and also got to see his office. The building is realy tall especialy when you have to look up from the stair cases from the inside. It is really high.

And so after that we went off to where I had chosen and it was to Mc Donalds (my favourite restaurant). I ordered a cheese burger but I don't realy know if I had charmed the girl who was taking our orders or what, because she had put down a doulbe cheese burger for me instead of a cheese burger. Oh well, I just had to enjoy it.

After we were done with our meal we then went to the Pirates Stadium (PNC Park) to watch a baseball match.

We then watched the game and we had a beautiful view of the city as well so it was really awesome. The Pirates weren't winning and we were just hoping to at least see a home run by the Pirates, because apparently there will be fire-works going off. After a while one of the Pirates players hit a home run and we got to see the fire-works and it was so beautiful! Alan took a few pictures of that as well and once we were done watching the game outside the stadium there are statues of the legends of which used to play for the Pirates. I also got a photo taken in front of one statue and I think his name was Roberto if I'm not mistaken.

Then we got back home to get ready for New York..........

Pittsburgh from an African Perspective = Green and Friendly~!

2010-06-24T15:26:00.001-04:00

Hi to you all beautiful people, I am just going to tell you a little more about my experiences in Pittsburgh, the green city.

I am now three days in Pittsburgh which is very nice. I have done a lot of interesting things.

Day 1 Friday(11/06/10)

When we got to Atlanta airport it was very scary for me as I was told that people/consultants at the airport are not friendly at all, so I got there ready for the treatment. Unexpectedly we were helped by the most wonderful consultant who looks just like WILL SMITH....very friendly indeed. Our day got a little spoilt when we went to get our luggage. We found out that Tipsy's(Lucky)wasn't there so we waited for the next flight hoping to find it.   But it was just not there.

BUT WE COULDN'T LET THAT SPOIL OUR WONDERFUL TRIP......

We went through customs, got some CANDIES(SWEETS) from the security guard at the airport and waited for our connecting flight to Pittsburgh, the flight was delayed so we had to wait a little longer but it finally came and that wasn't such a long one like first one from Johannesburg.

When we get to Pittsburgh Dana, Lori's family, Betsy and her husband and Des were all waiting for us with all these beautiful gifts (wooden flowers,wild American sunglasses and some colourful pearls). We all gave each other big hugs and took a lot of pictures. There was only one person missing. Guess Who????? Liz my mentor! That made me so disappointed and sad, I cried a little. Although it wasn't her fault, I was looking forward to meeting her in person and give her a big hug.

When Liz finally arrived I was so happy and I couldn't believe it. That was the most unforgettable moment of my life....wow what an amazing life to have.

Liz and I are staying at Shannon M's house while in Pittsburgh. Shannon is a wonderful person, a mother of three lovely children.

That night we had an amazing dinner at Shannon's house I met the LIFE SAVER: Mr Owen!! A very lovely, smart person indeed. After dinner it was a good night sleep for me as I was tired from flying.

These are some of the words that I learnt from America
South African Way                       American Way
Tomato sauce                              Ketchup
Permanent marker                      Sharpie
Chips                                        French fries

I personally don't think Pittsburghers get stress or depression at all as they have these lovely green trees and flowers all over!

Will write more tomorrow okay and by the way Americans drive on the right side of the road while we do the left side. Isn't that interesting?

I am open to any kind of questions about the trip, so you all know where to get me, right?

Looking forward to answering all your questions.

Lucky to be Lucky in the USA!

2010-06-17T14:32:00.000-04:00

As promised, I am going to share some of the blogs the Net Buddies are posting to the Ezomndeni Net about their experiences here in the US visiting their video mentors! Today I am sharing some excerpts from Lucky's blog. Enjoy!

First thing when I woke up was that the weather was ok and both Betsy and I had planned to go to the zoo for the day but then we thought what if it rains, because it wouldn't be a good day at the zoo if at had to rain and so we had to let that one pass but we then we decided to do something even nicer which is ice skating.... ooooh and well on our way there we stopped at the post office to post a few things and I finally got a photo taken next to a post van which I think is really fun, because every time when I am in South Africa and I am watching an American movie I would laugh every time they would show a mail van and so it was really great to have a picture taken next to one.

We continued with our journey to the ice skating place and on our way we were talking about how long it has been since we've ice skated and so we were actually nervous of basically falling on the ice but I guess it was too late for us to change our minds then and so we got there, got our ice skates and took some pictures before getting on the ice and then we finally go on the ice and we then started ice skating and none of us were balancing against the side which I think was really good after we have both never been ice skating for a long time and it seemed like it was our day, because there weren't many people ice skating, so we basically had the place to ourselves which was really fun.

We then came back to get Betsy's coffee mug and we got to this other "drive thru" where she just said bottom-less mug and she got her mug filled with coffee and she did not pay a thing. I was really amazed and she explained to me everything and she said that she had paid $120 which is like +-R800 and she got the mug and she can go to that place and order coffee' as many times as would like for a whole year and I think that is great because I love..... coffee but I haven't had any since I came here. I just stuck to apple juice which I also adore and I basically just decided to stay faithful to my South Africa coffee.

And so after the coffee we went down to the grocery store to get a few things, because we were having dinner with some of Betsy's family and we also got more of these other candy which I got addicted to and their a mixture of sweet and sour candy. I love candy and so while we were at the store Betsy showed me this other way of paying for your grocery and you basically scan the products you've purchased yourself and you then pay and I think that is really awesome to do that yourself.

We came back from the store and Betsy started preparing things for dinner and hoping the weather doesn't change, because she wouldn't have liked it if it was possible to have dinner outside. I was drawing and it was my first time that I had time to do anything normal so I then asked Betsy if she could put on for me cartoons for me so I drew a little and while waiting for dinner.

Then the time came when everyone started coming in and I met Betsy's father and apparently he worked at Kennywood for sometime and we spoke about that. He and his fiance had brought me a card with some money to spend while I'm in Pittsburgh and I think that was really generous of them. They are really nice people I must say and, Betsy's brother (Bruce) , Betsy's sister in-law (Melissa), and their children Kelly and Kevin came and they and gifts for me they got me a whole kinds of different types of candy (which I don't know how am I going to start eating them) and a hockey t-shirt of a very good hockey player who plays for a team in Pittsburgh and his name is Crosby. I also play hockey, so it was a really nice present for them to give to me.

We sat outside to have our dinner and we also have a very delicious dessert and we saw a couple of light bugs which Kevin and I tried to catch but there were so many so we did not get any which is ok I guess. I really appreciate the time and effort that everyone took to meet me and for Betsy and to introduce me to her family, which I think was really great. At the end I think everyone was tired including me because of how we had laughed so much. I must say that Betsy has a very funny family especialy Kevin and Betsy's brother Bruce, actually everyone there had a great unique sense of humour.

I still haven't figured out how am I going to start eating all of that candy!

But well that was my day with Betsy's family!

we should travel with people as they search for the good, the true and the beautiful...

2010-06-13T10:49:00.000-04:00

We are relieved and excited to announce that 3 Net Buddies from Nkosi's Haven are in Pittsburgh and New York City to visit their video mentors! Keneilwe, Lucky and Christina arrived in Pittsburgh on Friday, June 11th and were greeted by video mentors, Lori and Will Allison, Betsy and Alan Hohlfelder and Liz DeVito! The shouts of joy and the tears of recognition were a wonder to behold.

Together with Zoleka Petse, IF SA Coordinator, the Net Buddies are seeing the sights in Pittsburgh and New York City. In addtion to soaking up all the love and wonder of finally seeing their one another, Net Buddies and their video mentors are acting as goodwill ambassadors for the wonderful mission of IF.

In Pittsburgh there is a traditional South African Braai (or barbeque) and a trip to Kennywood, a local amusement park, where Net Buddies will meet the Infinite Family community of mentors, supporters and friends.

In NYC, Net Buddies will attend a picnic in Central Park as well as attend a rooftop event at the home of Chris Boeke and Bill Jenks, long time supporters and IF Board member.

I will be posting excerpts from Lucky, Christina, Keneilwe and Zoleka's blog right here, so keep coming back!

We're posting pictures to the Infinite Family Facebook Page! So check out all the wonderful experiences and insights first hand through FB!!

We are all OVER THE MOON with excitement. We hope you'll catch a glimpse of the excitement through our blogs and photos, too!

Lazarus Effect: Finding hope and new life through a blog

2010-05-24T21:52:00.000-04:00

"The Family is a Haven in a Heartless World"

2010-04-28T12:06:00.000-04:00

The children of Infinite Family lead very rough lives. They they live in orphanages and shacks. They eat meager meals shared by many children and very few adults. They try their hardest to make their few clothes look fresh and clean. They have big dreams and very few resources for making those dreams a reality.

Infinite Family attempts to make their lives less lonely by supporting the children with video mentors who share special one-on-one time with them every week.

But in the interim, the long hours in between those video conversations, Infinite Family hires community workers that we call Net Fundis. The Fundis share the same lives as the children, living in the same rough circumstances. Our Fundis are there for the children every day because of their big-hearted commitment to our Net Buddies who otherwise have very few consistent, caring adults in their lives.

To give you insight into how special our Fundi's are, I'd like to share with you a recent blog post that one of our Fundis posted on our internet platform, the Ezomndeni Net.

CHANGE MY LIFE

ALL THIS TIME I WAS THINKING THAT BEING A NET FUNDI WAS ABOUT REMINDING THE NET BUDDIES TO CHECK AND SEND EMAILS, TO WRITE THEIR BLOGS, TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY ATTEND THEIR VCS ON TIME.

THEN ONE LITTLE NET BUDDY JUST CHANGED THAT. SHE SENT ME AN EMAIL. I READ IT AND I CHECKED HER PROFILE AND BLOGS ON THE EZOMNDENI NET. THEN I REALIZED HOW MUCH I'VE BEEN MISSING.

I JOINED FACEBOOK BECAUSE I WAS NEEDING A FRIEND, SISTER, BROTHER...SOMEONE TO TALK TO. I DID NOT THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO FIND THAT PERSON HERE AT INFINITE FAMILY.

I LOOKED AT THE NAME INFINITE FAMILY AS ANY ORDINARY NAME, BUT THE MESSAGE WHICH IS CLEAR IS THAT I HAVE A FAMILY HERE. I AM NOT ALONE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY BABY SISTER, MARUTLA. YOU ARE THE NET BUDDY WHO OPENED MY EYES.

We hope that the words of our Net Fundi, Hlengiwe, will touch your heart and encourage you to be part of Infinite Family, a haven for so many struggling with the stigma of HIV/AIDS and poverty, who are looking for family in a heartless world.

Visit our website today to apply as a mentor or to donate to the work that supports Hlengiwe as a Net Fundi.

www.infinitefamily.org

Katy Keck receives University of Phoenix™ Volunteer Leader Award

2010-04-21T14:22:00.002-04:00

Katy Keck, Chair of the Infinite Family Board of Directors, was named one of just ten Volunteer Leader Award Honorees by HandsOn Network/Points of Light Institute and the University of Phoenix to outstanding volunteer leaders in the nation.

The award, announced last night in Washington, D.C. during the National Volunteer Week festivities, celebrates the first anniversary of the landmark Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act, which authorized the largest expansion of national service in America in decades. This award includes a $10,000 grant, which Katy has designated to Infinite Family.

Katy’s volunteer work with Infinite Family is a motivating force for volunteers, donors and staff. She has inspired friends, family and business partners to become active change agents in the campaign to impact youth in South Africa. Her tireless efforts, insight and ideas, professional and organizational skills, big heart and buoyant sense of humor are a daily source of inspiration.

With an estimated 55 million youths orphaned and affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty in sub-Saharan Africa, Keck feels that Infinite Family’s mission to connect a caring adult mentor to children who often grow up alone is critical. She believes that by creating these connections, children will begin to define their lives by what they have to gain, not by what they have lost.

She has been the lead volunteer for Infinite Family since it began. With her professional background in finance and event planning, she has produced the organization’s fundraising events, pulling together dozens of volunteers, sponsors and in-kind donors. Over the course of four years, her efforts have generated more than $200,000 in donations. In addition, IF benefits from Keck’s leadership in developing marketing and communication tools, development and fundraising, and her ability to recruit volunteers and video mentors.

IF’s leveraging of technology to connect adults around the globe to youth growing up alone in Africa is an inspiring step towards ensuring that every child has a mentor. Katy Keck is a 2010 University of Phoenix Volunteer Leader honoree because of her dedication, faith, willingness and selfless efforts to make sure that every child who needs a mentor, no matter where they are, can find one.

Congratulations, Katy!

A tour of the Ezomndeni Net...online!

2010-04-20T18:03:00.000-04:00

Curious about how video mentoring works? Stop by Infinite Family's YouTube Channel to tour the Ezomndeni Net and our video mentoring desktop! See the blogs, the kids and the art the Net Buddies create while online with their Video Mentors. Just click on the link below to view the EzNet tour and many of our other insightful videos!
A tour of the Ezomndeni Net...online!

South African Schoolroom Humor!

2010-04-05T16:34:00.001-04:00

Lots of activity happens on the Ezomndeni Net. We always have lots of Net Buddies uploading photos, sending email, and enjoying their video conversations. One of my favorite parts of the Ezomndeni Net is the blogs. Every day we have children and mentors reflecting on their hopes and frustrations and looking to one another for support.

Today, I was lucky enough to catch Pippy's blog. She decided to share some South African schoolroom humor. I thought I'd give you all a chuckle and pass them on. You might want to share these with the young people in your life~

Teacher: Zoleka, go to the map and find North America.
Zoleka:   Here it is~!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Zoleka!

Teacher: Busie, how do you spell crocodile?
Busie:     k-r-o-d-i-a-l
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Busie:     Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how to spell it!

Teacher: Millie, give a sentence starting with "I".
Millie:     I is.
Teacher: No Millie, always say "I am".
Millie:    All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Video mentoring with Infinite Family brings many gifts...these jokes being just one of them! Contact us and learn more about video mentoring a South African child today! Just email: info@infinitefamily.org or give us a call at 212.400.7446 x 12.

The Gift is you...: KQV Global Press Conference: Infinite Family: Connecting with Africa’s Youth

2010-03-31T13:39:00.002-04:00

The Gift is you...: KQV Global Press Conference: Infinite Family: Connecting with Africa’s Youthhttp://www.worldaffairspittsburgh.org/nu_upload/Dana_Gold.mp3

Sorry for the double post on the same topic...I was trying to get fancy on the last post and it was brought to my attention that there was no link to the interview. Ah well! Click the above for the interview!

Tips for World Cup Visitors to South Africa...from IF Net Buddies!

2010-03-04T13:08:00.002-05:00

So much excitement, worry and anticipation has gone into South Africa's preparation for the 2010 World Cup Games. Will the stadiums be done in time? Will Gautrain be ready to move the anticipated millions from venue to venue? Will World Cup fans be forced to live in tents or will hotel space be plentiful? And moreover, will the visitors to the games be safe?

One of Infinite Family's Net Buddies decided to address some of these issues in a recent blog. So, if you want some good advice on what to eat, where to visit and how to stay safe, read what Ncesh has to say!

With the World Cup in South Africa maybe some of you are coming here. So I have some tips for what you should do or not do. Like any other country, we have some things good and some things bad.

If you like nice food you should buy umnqusho. That's samp (coarse ground boiled corn) and beans. Or some meat we call mkqhodi, the meat from inside the cow or sheep. Or try braai meat (barbequed), steak or pork with pap (boiled corn meal). That is a nice meal for the day.

If you eat early you can buy amagwinya for breakfast. That's fat cake, polonny (sausage) and chips. You will be full all morning.

We all know that crime is high in our country so be careful who you ask directions or anything. The tsostis (criminals) here walk with a Bible so you will think they are good Christian people, but they are not. They can even pretend to be in danger, or sick, so be careful who you help. I'm not saying you shouldn't help, but be aware.

We have nice places to visit with your family or alone and Durban is one of them. Capetown is a great city. Also Port Elizabeth is a wonderful place.

Remember don't walk around with lots of cash in your bag or holding your bag with you thumbs. Make sure that you hold your bag tight in your hand.

Sit where you feel safe and surrounded by people. If you don't trust people walk away from them without showing that you are afraid of them. Try to be calm and confident so no one will think of starting something with you.

I'm not saying avoid the South Africans or be afraid of us or anything like that, I'm just saying be careful. Like in your own countries, there are gangsters and crime, so you know what I mean when I say be careful!

So, take the wise advice of one of the wonderful Net Buddies of Infinite Family and have an incredible time exploring the diverse and vibrant country of South Africa!

If you want to hear more about what Net Buddies have to say about themselves, their lives and Infinite Family, visit our website at www.infinitefamily.org!

Infinite Family Opens 4th Video Lab in Soweto

2010-02-17T09:31:00.003-05:00

News Release: Soweto, South Africa

Infinite Family, a non profit international organization that connects sub-Saharan children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty, one on one, with mentors from around the world through video technology, opened its fourth video lab at Tsogang Sechaba in Soweto on 16 February 2010.

Founded by US citizen Amy Conrad Stokes in 2005, Infinite Family expands opportunities for vulnerable children by improving their communications, life, academic, technology and work skills through face-to-face relationships with video mentors worldwide.

Opening the Soweto facility, Stokes said she hopes that the results experienced at the other existing labs - two group homes and two after-school programs with outreach to Berea, Alexandra township, Lanseria and three informal rural settlements, will soon be felt by the local Sowetan community. Early evaluations point to children’s clear gains in English, computer literacy, self confidence, conflict resolution and problem solving skills. In addition, Infinite Family mentors report a uniquely inspiring experience and seek greater involvement. To date, more than 200 tweens and teens have increased their technology, academic and life skills via these direct relationships.

“Strong partnerships are integral to the success of each of these centres and we have been blessed with the best,” says Stokes. “Currently the computer labs are jointly equipped and managed with our local NGO partners, who choose the tween and teen Net Buddies from their local communities. On the technology side, local converged communications service provider Internet Solutions provides the high speed satellite internet connections; Dial-a-Nerd installs and maintains computers in the labs; Bombardier Transportation sponsors the computer labs, employee mentors and a career development program; and apart from our global mentors, IBM (SA) has started an employee mentorship programme.”

“At Tsogang Sechaba, Ma Tony Gloria Bodibe, an icon in the local community for her support and daily feeding scheme of more than 1000 HIV/Aids affected kids from six local primary schools and two high schools, has been a source of inspiration to us all,” continues Stokes. “She has opened her home and her heart to us and given up precious space for the new Computer Lab and the response from families has been heart-warming. We can see that this Soweto outreach is already making a difference.”

Infinite Family has a small number of on the ground management staff in Johannesburg and provides each facility with a Lab Manager. Stokes, from New York, and her dedicated staff of two in Pittsburgh and two in South Africa, spend most of their time fund raising, building relationships with new NGOs and corporate partners and recruiting mentors to continue and spread the Infinite Family network.

Partner Comment:

Dial a Nerd
“Dial a Nerd chose to sponsor this facility, and Infinite Family, due to the valuable work they are doing to not only promote a sense of “family” amongst those of us that are less fortunate, but are doing so with the help of technology which in turn assists greatly in opening up a new door to children that wouldn’t otherwise have access to things like computers and the internet. As one can imagine, this is something that would appeal to us Nerds, as computers play a valuable role in our lives and it’s exciting to see children benefiting as they are.”
Aaron Thornton
General Manager
Dial a Nerd

Internet Solutions
“Since inception, Internet Solutions has been proud to be the connectivity sponsor for this unique and hugely effective initiative. We now sponsor four centres, some of which are in remote areas. Due to the locations of the centres, IS found it more effective to use satellite connectivity as this proved to be the more stable connectivity route.

IS has seen the positive effects that the Infinite Family programme has had on the lives of many young South African children through allowing them access to adult mentors, motivating them to contribute positively to their own future as well as the future of our country.”
Lebohang Thokoane, Marketing Executive

About Infinite Family

Infinite Family is an international organization that connects sub-Saharan children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty, one on one, with mentors from around the world through video technology. Via webcams, computers, and a secure, interactive internet platform, caring adults around the world see and speak weekly with their “Net Buddies,” motivating them to define and work toward their goals and helping them learn academic, technology, and life skills. It starts with a face-to-face weekly conversation through the computer, but quickly becomes so much more. The impact of these relationships is profound on both ends of the relationship, expanding interest in all things South African through its mentor base in five countries, including South Africa, and across the U.S.

Infinite Family NGO partners include two group homes and two after-school programs with outreach to Berea, Alexandra township, Soweto and Lanseria and three informal rural settlements. Early evaluations point to children’s clear gains in English, computer literacy, self confidence, conflict resolution and problem solving skills. In addition, Infinite Family mentors report a uniquely inspiring experience and seek greater involvement. Our website (www.infinitefamily.org) contains video samples and an overview of the scope of Infinite Family’s work.

Amy Conrad Stokes had the idea for Infinite Family when she and her husband adopted Calder Qhawe from South Africa in 2003. In 2005, Dana Gold joined as Program Director, accelerating the program and providing much needed support. Dana is also the adoptive mother of a South African son.

Haitian orphans, African orphans, American orphans: Crisis brings focus

2010-01-28T12:09:00.005-05:00

Pittsburghers mentor HIV/AIDS orphans in Africa using technology

Every family’s heart was touched as the world watched 53 orphaned Haitian children carried from a city bus and into Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh just a few short weeks ago. Every media outlet fielded phone calls and emails asking how to adopt, to foster, to make a difference in these poor children’s lives. Luckily, the majority of these children were already in the process of being adopted and were quickly united with their “forever families”.

But what about orphaned children the world over who have no hope of adoption and who struggle every day to find someone to guide, nurture and “be there” for them?

One answer is mentoring.

Infinite Family uses video technology to connect adult mentors with southern African children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty. African children growing up alone spend 30 minutes each week having video conversations with their mentors.

Video Mentors find the experience very rewarding:

“I am mentoring an amazing high school boy in South Africa through a program called Infinite Family. We meet once a week via webcam and talk about school, work, and life. It is one of the highlights of my week. My Net Buddy is bright, driven, and has hopes for a successful and meaningful life despite living under difficult circumstances. We have talked about American and South African culture, our schoolwork (he is helping me with my math!), and his career goals. He wants to be a radio engineer or program host, and his slogan is “Make It Count!” Michael B.

“By just spending 1/2 an hour each week talking with a child in need, you make their lives and futures brighter. Not to mention, these children give us so much love and inspiration, my live is more fulfilling with my Net Buddy in it!” Amy S.

Net Buddies in South Africa feel an enduring and special bond with their mentors:

“It feels like my mother has never died when I am with my wonderful Net Buddy.”

“My Net Buddy is like a brother to me. I learn new things from him and he shows me things I do not know.”

Started in 2006 with 5 video mentors in Pittsburgh and 5 in New York City, Infinite Family now has over 130 Net Buddies in 20 states and in 3 different countries.

Please join Vivisimo, Bombardier, Mullen and The Pittsburgh Technology Council in celebration of 3 years of Video Mentoring with

Infinite Family

February 9th

5-7pm

at the 15 Minute Art Gallery

Pittsburgh Technology Council

2000 Technology Drive

Pittsburgh, PA 15219

Be inspired by Pittsburghers using technology to change the world

Enjoy wine and hors d’oeuvre

Meet Infinite Family Video Mentors & Staff

Get Involved

To RSVP: 212.400.7446 x 6

or via email

dana.gold@infinitefamily.org

Gift Giving vs. "Gift Being"

2010-01-11T09:50:00.002-05:00

Often, the US can come across as a kind of benevolent and capricious Santa figure. We ostentatiously dole out the gifts, but you have to be "good" to get them...good as determined by some parental formula of behaving according to "our" standards.

When it comes to children that I've worked with in South Africa, that expectation of generosity from individual US citizens can be the same.

At Infinite Family, we tell the children and their mentors that we believe "The Gift is YOU". The gift of time, attention, shared laughter, insight and experience are the gifts we bring to one another across the thousands of miles that separate us...all through using the gift of video technology.

The children understand this. They like the idea of being a gift to someone. As a weekly gift to their mentor, they inspire in surprising ways. They bring delight. They bring their willingness to love and be loved by a stranger so far away.

And so, the children of Infinite Family don't generally ask for anything...except your being...your being with them in their journey of growing up and becoming a gift to the world.

These relationships transform more than individual lives...they change perspective. A perspective change that says something about the US as a nation.

By "being with" someone through the process of mentoring, we make a statement that "we believe in you". We believe that by walking with you, we will witness your success, your blossoming into the best you can be.

Instead of holding up a yardstick by which someone is measured, mentoring holds up a mirror and helps you measure yourself by your own expectations and hopes.

So, during January, National Mentoring Month, we encourage everyone to give a gift, by being a gift. We hope you will consider giving your gift through Infinite Family.

Visit our website at www.infinitefamily.org to be a gift or give a gift.

Infinite Family. Infinite Possibilities.

Does Santa Come to Africa?

2009-12-21T09:23:00.003-05:00

The kids of Infinite Family have lots of exposure to western culture. They LOVE Beyonce and Alicia Keyes. They are gaga over Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus. They can belt out their tunes and mimic their dances moves.

One young girl via email, insisted I introduce her to Halle Berry so that Halle could help her with her dream of becoming an actress. When I explained that wasn't possible because someone like me would never know someone like the academy award winning Ms. Berry...she couldn't accept that. In email after email, she expressed her surprise and disappointment that I would hold out on her like this.

In light of this misapprehension of American culture, I use some of my time during computer training to encourage questions from the Infinite Family kids about anything "American".

No longer focused on their computer screens, the children turn to me as the fount of all wisdom. The questions come at lightening speed:

"Why are your taxis in America all yellow?"

"Why do Americans ask so many questions?"

"How can one person live in an apartment all by themselves?"

And "Is Santa Claus real?"

As the last question was asked, the room, formerly awash with raised hands and eager faces, became solemn and quiet.

This was a serious question. The children wanted a definitive answer.

But what they really were asking was:

If Santa was real & visited the children of the US, then why didn't the jolly old elf come to visit them? Did they not merit a Christmas miracle? Weren't their Christmas wishes important to Saint Nicholas?

Did Santa not visit them because they were bad or undeserving?

Up until that moment, I never imagined that the Santa story could be so hurtful.

The myth and magic that grown-ups weave is never meant to hurt. But sometimes, it does.

Just a few years ago, when my daughter finally decided to stop believing in the magic of Santa, I explained to her that she was now responsible to embody the magic. By embodying the magic through giving exceptionally and selflessly, you become Santa.

I know we all try to do this for those we love. We try to give exceptionally. We try to give without a thought for ourselves. We all try to extend and embody the myth to those outside of our homes, outside of our communities...to extend the myth of magic to those who have so little magic in their lives.

Facing the somber-faced children in the tin-roofed, concrete block computer lab, I still needed to give them an answer.

So I told them, if Santa was real, he would NEVER FORGET them. You, beautiful and beloved, would never be forgotten by a benevolent and bountiful Santa Claus.

How are we embodying the magic, extending the bounty, this season? One option is to extend yourself to the children of Infinite Family. Weekly video conversations with a child longing for adult attention and the opportunity to make their own dreams come true, gives you the opportunity to embody the magic like nothing else.

Thank you for being Santa this season...to those in your home, in your community and those in tin-roofed shacks in Africa!

www.infinitefamily.org

Exuberant Thanks Giving!

2009-11-25T11:41:00.003-05:00

Infinite Family would like to share with you evidence of hope growing in the midst of the most challenging of circumstances. Please enjoy this video as our thanksgiving for all you do each and every day of the year!

Service is the Rent we Pay for Living on this Earth

2009-11-17T15:42:00.006-05:00

In a letter to her family, Frances, one of Infinite Family's video mentors writes:

"I am mentoring a South African teenager who has been orphaned by the AIDS epidemic. What does that mean? I sign in to a secure website and tell Moses about my week, ask him about his, talk to him about school, about girls, about fighting and problem resolution, about books to read. I am a grown-up that is just his to trust.

Infinite Family's tag line is "The gift is you" This doesn't cost you any money (although donations are always needed). You just have to participate in some online training, get a criminal background check and spend 30 minutes a week engaged with a teenager who has no adult in his life.

...As Thanksgiving approaches, we count our blessings and realize that we have much to be thankful for. Service is the rent we pay for living on this earth. This is a way you can pay up. I certainly get more out of this than I give. You will too."

Service is the rent we pay for living...what a great thought on this week leading up to Thanksgiving. If each of us were to take this thought to heart, we would live our lives knowing that giving back is not an option but an obligation.

So, I invite you to give back (or to use Frances' phrase "pay rent") by involving yourself with Infinite Family. You can do that by giving 30 minutes a week as a mentor or by giving $3 a week as a donor. Either way, your "rent" will make a huge difference in the life of a southern African child growing up alone.

You can learn more about becoming a video mentor and learn how you can make a big impact with a gift to Infinite Family by visiting our website at www.infinitefamily.org.

And if you haven't visited for awhile, please check out our website...brand new and improved!!!

Thanks for reading, for passing this on and for your acts of service this year at Thanksgiving!

Dana

Best Mentors in the World!

2009-10-23T14:05:00.005-04:00

Dick is admittedly not a "techie". He lives in Pittsburgh, is an accomplished professional, has an active life in his church, community and with his far-flung family. Each week, Dick turns on his computer, navigates to Infinite Family's Ezomndeni Net, logs in with his password, adjust his webcam, and chats with Comfort, who lives in an orphanage in South Africa.

Dick is one of almost 125 volunteer "video mentors" with Infinite Family. He has been having video conversations with Comfort, a 13 year old boy living outside of Johannesburg, for 2 years now. They meet face-to-face, using Infinite Family's secure internet platform, to share their lives and plan for Comfort's future using the magic of technology.

Here is what Dick has to say about his experience as a Video Mentor with Infinite Family:

"IF gave me an opportunity to have a positive influence, however small, on a young person living in a country full of pain and sorrow. It helps overcome my sense of despair about the many difficulties faced by people living in poverty everywhere. Comfort is a bright spirit, both mischievous and shy, who is as unpredictable as any teenager anywhere. He wants to be a pilot, loves playing rugby and is discovering girls and vice versa. I strive to be attentive to his moods, accept that he won’t always show up on time or have much to say. In these and many other ways he has taught me that “it’s not about me” or in one word, humility. It’s all about him, and that’s the way it should be.

For those contemplating becoming a Net Buddy Mentor, I would stress the importance of making this commitment a priority for it is our being there each week that counts as much or more than what we say in our video conversations."

He concludes by saying:

"Infinite Family is expanding so it needs more trained mentors. There is a long waiting list of children eager to have a caring adult available to them on a regular basis, someone who listens, who consoles and who encourages them. If you think you might be interested, you can do several things. One is to check the IF web site, www.infinitefamily.org. Finally, Dana Gold would be glad to discuss IF with you at dana.gold@infinitefamily.org.

A child in South Africa would love to meet you."

Couldn't have said it any better, Dick!

Infinite Family. Where the Gift is You!

Want to tour the Ezomndeni Net?

2009-10-07T12:26:00.002-04:00

We'd love to show you around!

Every month Infinite Family holds an "open house" of sorts. We open our virtual doors and show you around the Ezomndeni Net, the social networking platform where our video mentors and Net Buddies meet. You get to glimpse Infinite Family's little corner of the internet, where kids growing up alone in South Africa connect to caring adults from around the world.

During these free webinars, you can see proud children sitting at computers and changing their lives with a keyboard, webcam and a mentor who cares enough to guide them through the tough teen years made harder by poverty & HIV/AIDS.

Give us 30 minutes and we'll introduce you to the world of Infinite Family. You will log on to the Ezomndeni Net where all our mentors and Net Buddies meet each week to talk, laugh and share their lives.

This month, our virtual open house will be held on:
October 15th at 7pm EST
or
October 16th at 11am EST

RSVP to dana.gold@infinitefamily.org for the log in information.

We can't wait to show you around!

Infinite Family, Infinite Possibilities!

Dying Empty....Revisted

2009-08-21T18:48:00.003-04:00

Self-sacrifice. Humility. Gratitude. Strength. Character. Hope. These are some of the ingredients that make up the heroes of the orphan crisis in South Africa.

Gab’sile Khoza, founder and director of Siyagibisa in Tembisa township, holds court today. She expounds with great pride on the accomplishments of the children in her care. The thief that turned assistant. The shy, hesitant boy who emerges from life in a shack to become a confident and calm young man. Gab’sile Khoza tells us she wants to die empty.

We stop her. What does that mean, to die empty?

To die empty is to take all the wisdom, love, spirit, courage, hope and ability that is planted within us and to give it all away before we die. Gab’sile points to her womb and then fans her fingers out as if spreading seeds upon fertile ground. I want to die empty, she says again.

Tony Gloria, I believe, is living to die empty

With barely enough space in this tiny corner of a four room Soweto house to maneuver from door to closet, we were ushered into Tony Gloria’s little piece of heaven…her bedroom. Her heaven is a mattress on the floor with three pillows and three small stuffed dolls. That bed is shared and treasured by Tony, her daughter and her 15 year old granddaughter. They claim it as their treasure. They count themselves lucky, blessed, fortunate. That bed is all that is left of personal space for them. The other three rooms of that small Soweto house are all given over to the feeding, care and nurture of over 400 children who may not have parents, enough food to eat or much hope for their future. Tony Gloria is happy to plant her seeds of hope. She fans her fingers and lets fall the fertile seeds of her strength, character and hope. Tony Gloria is living to die empty.

Dying empty. A phrase of hope, a manner of living life, a goal, a mantra.

And though it may sound strange, I wish that all of us from Infinite Family might die empty. We thank you for fanning your fingers and letting your seeds of hope fall on fertile ground.

NOTE! This blog post was originally written during a October 2008 trip to SAfrica. I reposted because Infinite Family has exciting news! In October of this year, Infinite Family is opening a new site in South Africa! Specifically, we will be starting a partnership with Tony Gloria at Tsogang Sechaba. Since opening in 1999, Tony’s mission has grown from carrying meals in a wheelbarrow to children at the local school to today, where she feeds over 700 HIV/AIDS affected children 2 hot meals each day as well as providing them with psychological & educational support. Tony first heard about Infinite Family 2 years ago and has worked tirelessly to create a computer lab for the children of Soweto. In October, we will be putting the first children from Tsogang Sechaba in front of the computers. Needless to say, EVERYONE is very excited!

And so…now, more than ever…we need NEW MENTORS!!!

To meet the initial need at Tsogang Sechaba, we need 30 mentors to be trained by the end of October. We have training classes ready to go with plenty of room in each of them. Our first training starts on August 24th. The next training begins September 21st. We even have one starting October 19th! And don’t forget…trainings are all online!

HOW CAN YOU HELP?? We are asking each of you to consider becoming a mentor with Infinite Family. Or to tell someone who you think will be interested about Infinite Family's mission. Tell them about Tsogang Sechaba. Share this blog post with them. Everyone's participation is vitally important as we open this first Infinite Family site in Soweto.

Of course, we will continue to need more mentors as the site expands to include more and more eager children as Net Buddies. So, if this fall isn’t good…we’ve got classes year round!

Thank you for all you do…and thank you for spreading the word about Infinite Family!

The beauty of remoteness...

2009-08-14T14:02:00.006-04:00

Ah, yes! The beauty of a remote desert island. The barren beauty of a desert sunset. Lonely. Uncluttered. Still. All adjectives brought to mind by the word "remote".

But now put the word 'remote' in another context. As in "working remotely". Somehow, the barren beauty of a desert...uncluttered, lonely, wide open...can't "remotely" describe what it is like to work from home.

Right now, I am sitting in a room that is about 8x6. My co-worker, Shannon Mischler's comment upon entering my little office was "Whoa! Think you could get anything else in here??" A desk, 2 office chairs, filing cabinet, computer armoire, & a storage cabinet make the space compact & cozy!

Separating all this from the 2nd floor hallway is an accordion door. Not exactly soundproof...so I can hear my daughter singing in the shower which is less than 4 feet from my chair.

Within the last hour, my son has come in to ask several questions about his "summer school" worksheets, his pokemon cards, his bakugan & to announce for about the millionth time this summer that he is bored.

So, you might wonder, how do I accomplish ANYTHING in all the confusion?

Well, today, I've plowed through most of the "To-Do" list. And quite honestly, I'm not feeling stressed or very interrupted at all!

One of the recent blogs I read on Toilet Paper Entrepeneur (Definitely worth checking out: www.toiletpaperentrepreneur.com) was entitled "155 Ways How To Work At Home Without Distraction". Quite a few of them revolved around not turning on the television or abandoning ship by fleeing to your local coffee shop. There were lots of practical suggestions -- someone even suggested working in bed!

I think one of the keys to working at home (and to just about everything else in life) is setting everyone's expectations appropriately. My kids know that what I do is important to me & important to the children Infinite Family serves in South Africa. They also understand that I earn our living with my work. So they respect my work time & work space...most of the time.

I also set my expectations for their behavior as clearly as possible. No fighting, no screaming & no rollerblades in the living room. And they respect the rules of behavior...most of the time.

I also have to have realistic expectations for myself. I am going to be interrupted. I am going to be distracted. I should not let myself get stressed out or turn into an obsessive over the minutes taken away with answering homework questions or admiring the "Moonlight Sonata" my daughter labored so hard to master this summer. And I honor those distractions the best I can...most of the time.

I also know that we who work at home actually are generally very focused & productive. I've worked in an office where I had many colleagues to chat with. I had a long walk to the copier room. I had to wait on tech support to fix my computer. Now, working from home, I even have fewer time-sucking meetings because people are much less apt to "meet" when it involves meeting on the phone. To put it bluntly, I get much more done working remotely than I ever did in an office!

Expectations & Balance. The ingredients that make most of life much easier.

Having shared my opinion, I now ask you to excuse me while I head downstairs & conduct a brief science experiment with my son.

The beauty of working remotely!

Volunteer Vacation

2009-07-10T13:08:00.004-04:00

Recently, I've read a few FB posts where friends are reflecting on the long, lazy days of summer while others are bemoaning watching summer slip by from behind panes of hermetically sealed glass. Depending on your perspective, summer can be a break from the usual round of school activities and alarm clocks, or it can just be a more sunny backdrop to the world of spreadsheets, meetings and stress.

For me, it is a bit of a mix. As I write, I can hear the sound of lawn mowers, laughing children and birds singing...it's summer here in Pennsylvania and I've got the windows open to the world around me. So, even though the computer screen still glows before me, I do have the glow and the sounds of summer permeating my environment.

One of the important things we look forward to in these summer days, is TIME OFF. Whether we travel to a beloved holiday spot or stay at home, summer gives us the longed for opportunity to do the things we enjoy most by shedding our responsibilities for just a little while.

That kind of break is important. It is important for all of us. And dare I say it? It is very important for volunteers to take a break, too!

For our Net Buddies in South Africa, July is a cold, cold month. But it is holiday time for them, too. At the end of June, our Net Buddies have finished their mid-year school exams. Then they are off for a 3 week school holiday...a much deserved rest.

So, when our Net Buddies are away from school, they are also away from Infinite Family's computer labs. Which means, no video conferences, no writing email, no nothing.

It means that our mentors are on holiday from volunteering!

Although, Infinite Family mentors are usually eager for the break to be over so that they can get back to talking, laughing and enjoying their Net Buddy, I have to say, taking a break is very important for volunteers.

The time away from our responsibilities, even the one's we most enjoy, is important in bringing fresh perspective and renewed energy.

So, even though these twice yearly breaks are built into being a mentor with Infinite Family (there is another LOOONG holiday from December through mid-January), I've learned to accept them...and use them wisely.

I encourage our wonderful volunteers to enjoy these holiday breaks & turn time on it's head. So, instead of tea-time with Tshepo, have tea with a friend. Instead of a pre-Sunday brunch chat with Thuli, sleep in a bit longer. And then, come back to us, refreshed and ready to go!

I'll take my own advice, too...I promise! In fact, lunch in the backyard would be a wonderfully welcome change of perspective!

Witnessing = Responsibility

2009-05-21T19:07:00.003-04:00

In the work I've done through the years, I've always been aware of the privilege I have to witness certain things in life usually hidden from large swaths of my peer group. The privilege of walking alongside men, women and children challenged by incredible life circumstances is humbling. I have always believed that everything I have witnessed has given me a responsibility...a responsibility not just to change myself or be personally inspired, but to be an interpreter to the larger world of these unique and humbling experiences.

Whether it is the daily victories of staying clean and sober celebrated by the crack addicted inner-city mother, or the more visible heroic efforts of Gail Johnson's Nkosi's Haven or Veronica Kgabo's Diepsloot School...all of these experiences bring with them a responsibility to share, reflect and interpret them to the larger world.

At one point in my travels to South Africa, I was unexpectedly brought into the sickroom of a woman struggling with HIV. As I sat on a low bench beside her mattress on the floor, I, the uninvited guest, was overwhelmed by my role as witness.

Mama, wrapped in tattered blankets, poured out her story of death and illness. Her youngest granddaughter had died the day before...just 6 months old. Her husband, sister, daughter, brother, son and another grandchild had all passed away within the previous 9 months. The woman interpreting all this from the end of the bed was explaining how she herself is no longer taking her ARV medications in order to have money for food for this ever diminishing household.

The interpreter told me I could take a photo. The mama wouldn't mind.

But I did. I minded being there, like a spectator or a tourist invited to take photos of the "natives". I minded my role -- like some kind of parasite feeding off of the human suffering of others.

But I had not asked to come there. I didn't even know where I was being taken when I walked in the home.

And so I witnessed a tragedy not so many people in my world ever see. And witnessing this very uncomfortable and tragic reality gave me a responsibility. A responsibility to tell you this heartrending story. A responsibility to bring you to that low bench in the dimly lit room with a fully realized woman not that much different than myself, pouring out her story to a stranger. I have to believe I was brought to witness her story just for this reason. For the reason that I would share this with you.

And now, it is your turn to take the role of witness seriously. It is your turn to be responsible with her story.

Witness the reality. Share the responsibility.

Pictures and Videos Speak Louder than My Words!

2009-05-14T06:18:00.003-04:00

I wanted to try and capture some of the experience Zoleka and I had yesterday at both Tsogang Sechaba and Nkosi's Haven, and thought my own words could never be as powerful of the words of the Net Buddies themselves.

I hope that you are as moved and inspired by the relationships described by the children of Infinite Family as I am. I return from South Africa with Christina's words in my heart.

"Remember," Christina said to all the newly trained Net Buddies at Nkosi's Haven, "Infinite Family has a special name. Infinite means that something goes on forever. Infinite Family means that this is a family that reaches everywhere and our goes on forever. Our Infinite Family will not end."

With your support, we can make Christina's statement a promise. Infinite Family needs mentors, partners, financial supporters and friends. Let us know how Infinite Family has captured your imagination and heart by contacting me at dana.gold@infinitefamily.org.

As always, the Gift is YOU!

An Homage to the Dead

2009-05-12T17:36:00.005-04:00

Every day, in common conversation, you hear people talking about the dead.

So many die. So many are sick. I stop myself from asking, "Why did she die?". The answer is painfully obvious.

A few of the Net Buddies gather to look at photos of themselves and their friends on my computer. I ask, "How is Boitumelo?". The children look down. I ask, "Where is Thabo?" The children look away. I don't need to ask why.

The sudden quiet, the turning of the head, the staring at the wall...that is the answer to my question.

HIV/AIDS is so pervasive. So many are sick. So many die.

The millions of dead are a silent explosion. The HIV/AIDS pandemic is a bomb-burst of trauma. It is an all pervasive, threatening specter of disease that eclipses the children's current happiness as well as their hoped-for futures.

So, I stop myself from asking.

The silence we share is an homage to the dead.

Looking up

2009-05-11T18:09:00.006-04:00

As we left Realogile High School this evening, we haltingly made our way through the streets of Alexandra.

It is an amazing thing to be a small piece of this vibrant, cheek-to-jowl crowded, desperately poor, bustling, entrepreneurial community. Alex has half a million people jammed into a 20 square block area. There is barely space to breathe between the dwellings, shops and sidewalk vendor's stalls in this densely packed township. People spill out from the sidewalks into the streets, competing with the incessantly honking taxis that drive with great impunity through the narrow streets of Alex.

There is no room at all, anywhere...unless you look up.

Structures reach no higher than a man can stand. Homes are constructed from whatever can be found...preferably corrugated metal...but anything that can define a boundary of in and out and keep the strangers and the weather at bay is suitable building material.

But looking up...up past the haphazard network of wires and antennas that weave across the low-slung rooftops...you see sky. You see sun. You see the energy of the scuttling clouds. You see the approach of a storm. You see the bigger forces of nature.

Looking up you see possibility. You see unmarred sunsets. You see the glow of sunrise. You see the beauty of open space.

Open space to dream. To see beyond where you have been planted.

The sky is the limit, it is said.

And for the children of Alex, I would like to believe that is so.

The sky above their heads, the unsullied, uncrowded space of open possibility...space to dream. Space to try new things. Space to dare new things. The space to grasp possibility.

These children of Alex need adults to help them. Adults who will give these children space and time in their own lives.

Infinite Family mentoring sessions are only half hour a week. That kind of space in your life can encourage a child to look up past the overwhelming poverty that surrounds them to see new possibility for themselves, their communities and their country.

If you think that you can make that kind of space available in your life, let me know at dana.gold@infinitefamily.org.

Thanks for reading! Your comments are encouraging!

Mother's Day at Nkosi's Haven

2009-05-10T08:23:00.002-04:00

Today, when we rolled through the gate at Nkosi's Haven, the kids welcomed Zoleka and I with hugs which quickly transitioned into urgent tugs on our hands. "Come this way! Come in here! We've prepared a special breakfast for all the mother's on Mother's Day".

Zo and I made our way through the kitchen where toast was popping, dishes were clanging and excited voices urged us forward into the main living room.

As we rounded the corner, we found the room festooned with balloons and handmade signs, and a table set with white linens. Encircling the table were four beaming mama's. They made room for us as they finished their first course of today's menu: corn flakes and milk!

Next came plates heaping with scrambled eggs, 3 slices of thickly buttered toast and stewed tomatoes. We had tea and jam. We had a specially picked play list of musical selections. We were treated like queens.

Then four children came in and quickly handed Zodwa, one of the mama's, a handmade card. As we passed the simple card around the table, each face was brushed with a tear as we each read the neatly crafted, colorful message of love from the children of Nkosi's Haven.

No sad things today. Just the realization that the legacy of Nkosi Johnson and the mission of Gail Johnson has been realized.

Nkosi, before he died at age 12 in a speech to the UN said:
"Because I was separated from my mother at an early age, because we were both HIV positive, my mommy Gail and I have always wanted to start a care centre for HIV/Aids mothers and their children."

Nkosi's Haven was created so that "more infected mothers can stay together with their children - they mustn't be separated from their children so they can be together and live longer with the love that they need."

I'd say Mother's Day 2009 would demonstrate that this special dream has touched the lives of Zodwa, Busi, Ruth, Grace, Melita and many, many other Moms and children.

What a wonder to be able to be part of it all!

Read more about Nkosi Johnson and Nkosi's Haven at http://www.nkosishaven.co.za/

One of my favorite places in the world...

2009-05-09T15:08:00.003-04:00

Every time I pull up to the gated, brightly painted entrance of Nkosi's Haven, I am amazed at the cheerful visage it fronts to the rough and tumble streets of Berea. But then I ask myself, "Why should I be surprised? What I see on the outside reflects the insides of this special place."

You can't walk five steps without tripping over a curioius toddler or being enwrapped in the shy smile of young one. The warren of pathways that runs through the three structures that house over 75 children and mothers struggling with HIV/AIDS always yields another glowing face, another warm embrace.

The women and children of Nkosi's Haven are very blessed with this family atmosphere, the abundant food, the medical care and good schooling. They are cared for and they know it.

The stories beneath the surface trickle out in halting cadences.

Liba, the oldest of a family of refugee children, who somehow found her way at 14 across the border from Zimbabwe, all the way to Johannesburg.

Ayanda, who had cared for each of his parents as they grew sick and passed away, eventually left to care for his little brother in an abandoned building in Jo'burg.

Z. who was raped by her step-father and who has been HIV+ since age 12.

The stories of tragedy run barely beneath the surface of this bustling, noisy home.

Where is the place where these painful stories are shared? Where healing takes place?

Each Net Buddy stands eagerly outside the computer room, waiting for their little dose of someone special. The person who cares for them so much that they extend themselves across the globe to "be there" through the pangs and joys of growing up.

Liba signs on to our video conferencing platform 10 minutes early, decorating the white board with Mother's Day messages and pretty designs.

Koketso relunctantly leaves her Net Buddy, waving in front of the camera with tears in her eyes as their half hour video conference ends.

These relationships are steadfast and enduring. Meaningful and deep.

And as I came in the gate of Nkosi's Haven today, a dozen 10 year olds milled about outside the computer room...having waited for this day for more than a year. Today, I was coming to teach them how to use the computer, share with them the story of Infinite Family...and give them the gift of mentorship.

What a humbling thing, to be responsible for something that these children so eagerly desire.

What a humbling thing, to be the person these children so eagerly look forward to seeing each week. What a wondrous thing to be a mentor with Infinite Family!

Traveling the World in a Mentor's Heart

2009-05-08T17:06:00.008-04:00

As Zoleka and I make our way through the jigsaw of courtyards and pathways that puzzle themselves together into the external space of Realogile High School in Alexandra, I comment to her that every time I come to visit, it is never quiet. Every time I walk the pathways to Infinite Family's little computer center nestled in a corner of this bustling High School, I find children kicking balls, tumbling over one another, hanging around the sidewalks and generally doing everything but sitting in classrooms quietly learning.

Zoleka chuckles...no quick interpretation...just a chuckle.

Then, a bit later, as I stand in a crowded room full of inquisitive faces, and listen to the more seasoned Net Buddies share their experience with Infinite Family, I witness passionate and emphatic testimonials...all in Zulu. The kids are pouring out their hearts and I am desperate to understand! I turn to Zoleka once again, hoping for a quick interpretation.

Zoleka smiles, motions for me to wait. No quick interpretation.

I struggle to pick up one word here and there. A few familiar phrases jump out of the flow: "Advice" I hear. "Improve english", I decipher. "Computers", "VC", "special friend", "share secrets". I begin to think that I don't need to hear every word to know that the children are loving their time with the video mentors of Infinite Family.

But then I hear a few strange words thrown in there. "India". "Many countries". Hmmm? What is Phillip talking about?

This time, Zoleka is quick with an interpretion.

One of our Net Buddies, Phillip, claims that he is traveling the world in his mentors heart. Phillip's life travels have been defined and limited by the boundaries of his little corner of Alexandria. Phillip, a boy who in all his 15 years has rarely ventured past the garbage strewn streets filled with tooting cars, blaring radios, running children and tiny storefronts claims he has now been to India.

Phillip stands before his peers and claims, "I have been with Paul to India, to Germany, to America. I have been with Paul in all his travels because I know that Paul carries me in his heart wherever he goes, every moment of every day."

The quick interpretation? Mentoring through Infinite Family works!

Come join us! To learn more, visit our website: www.infinitefamily.org

The Power of a Well Placed "NO"!

2009-05-07T16:43:00.005-04:00

Today I had the privilege of meeting Veronica Kgabo, principal and founder of Diepsloot Combined School. Veronica had a vision of quality education for the children of the rough and tumble, sprawling Diepsloot area. Veronica's vision took root on an arid, stony 2 acres of land less than 6 years ago. She has nurtured that vision into a lively, cheerful place crowded with tiny, prefab structures and scarred shipping containers that were transformed into classrooms where young minds are ignited with new ideas and children are challenged with the highest of educational standards.

Veronica is a saavy woman...saavy enough to say "no, thank you" as often as she says "yes, thank you." And after this afternoon in her presence, I would offer a guess that it is saying "no" as often as she says "yes" which has made her vision flourish and grow.

When Veronica took her small staff to a rubbish heap that surrounded the school grounds on 2 sides, she swept her arm across the expanse of nasty and proclaimed it would now be their new soccer field. When mothers and fathers of her students came and offered to sort through the rubbish, Veronica said, "yes, thank you." When the church across the way offered assistance with leveling the field, Veronica said "yes, thank you." But when she was offered a tractor for maintaining the field and cutting the grass, Veronica said "no".

Veronica said, "How can I take care of a tractor?" Where will the money come for fuel? No tractor, thank you. But if you would like to keep the tractor and use it here every month, I will be happy for you to do that. But please,a tractor would be a burden, not a blessing."

And when a donor very generously said, "I would like to give you computers.", Veronica again said "no". "How will I maintain computers? And how will I keep them updated? For I know that once they are here, problems will arise and you will not be here to fix them."

But when, another donor, Rentworks, arrived and offered to give Veronica's school 62 computers, they also offered to come every 2 weeks to maintain and update them. And when these computers and the active and ongoing participation of the donor was secured, Veronica said, "yes, thanks"!

Saying no is a problem for those of us in the asking business. It is often difficult to turn down the generous offers of donors, no matter how ill-fitting the gift might feel. For the wrong gift can become a burden to an organization, slowing the development toward goals and the realization of a mission.

Veronica's vision has been solidified with her no-saying as well as her many yes's, as she has taken the school from 180 students to 1800 in less than six years.

Today, I learned from Veronica Kgabo the power of a well placed "NO". I hope I will employ that little word with as much positive force as she has at Diepsloot Combined.

And by the way, Veronica Kgabo said "yes, please!" to a partnership with Infinite Family. We will be lucky to have such a wise partner who will teach us much as we walk this road together.

I'm so glad we weren't given a well placed "no"! Thank you, Veronica Kgabo!

Infinite Family featured on The Glass Hammer!

2009-05-01T16:12:00.001-04:00

Hi Everyone,

We got first page, top of the fold position in today’s article on Infinite Family in The Glass Hammer (www.theglasshammer.com).

Thanks to Cheryl Pollard and Barbara Draimin for being such wonderful examples of Infinite Family volunteer mentors!

Pass it on!

d.

Headed to South Africa...

2009-04-30T14:51:00.004-04:00

Every single time I get ready to go back to South Africa, I am full of conflicting emotions. Primed and pumped to accomplish many things in a short amount of time gets the adrenaline pumping. The joy of reconnecting with all the phenomenal people -- the NGO workers, the friends and supporters -- and of course, the incredible opportunity to be with the children once again is exciting. All these things are the stuff that gets my engine running and has me moving a bit more rapidly than normal.

But on the other hand, I'm leaving my kids behind for over 10 days. Having a ramped up mom prior to the trip and a very lagged out one afterwards is difficult and disruptive for them. Then of course, the dreaded packing: Cameras, projector and laptop in the carry-on (ugh!). Dictionaries and wooden toys in with the papers. Huge tubs of JIF peanut butter and Nescafe (don't ask!) in the BIG suitcase (the one that could be a coffin for a good size german shepherd). And of course, don't forget the passport (I almost did once!).

The planning and arranging of the schedule makes me, a normally spontaneous person, a super-controlling type A++! Computer training, computer installation, computer upgrades -- check! Staff meeting, staff training, staff brainstorming -- check! Corporate meeting, corporate training, corporate tours -- check! New site visit, new site development, new site relationship building -- uncheck! How do I fit it all into 8 short days on the ground???

The experience is packed solid, but in the midst of it, I try and spend time reflecting on all the feelings, experiences and insights and capture it all in my blog. So, instead of the "regular" once a week post in this blogspot, I will be updating daily. As much a tonic for me as it is a window into another world for you!

So, start looking for updates beginning on May 7th! I promise!

Thanks for your good thoughts and your support. Comments are a great motivator!

Dana

Incidental Mentors

2009-03-29T23:30:00.005-04:00

Tonight, I am learning all about a computer virus that my daughter accidentally (is there any other way?) downloaded onto the family computer. I'm also relearning that I should never use the same password on all my accounts...especially not on my Facebook account, my email account and my bank account.

Some of us are just simply slower learners!

Or maybe I'm just too naive and lazy to heed the warnings that pop up from the day you first touch a keyboard and read the word "GOOGLE".

Warnings that should make me wise enough not to let my first grader on the computer by himself at 6am on a Saturday even though my whole being is begging for another hour of sleep.

You get my point.

With all the ways to get in trouble in this world and all the things I keep learning way too late in life, I sometimes wonder how anyone, myself included, makes it past the age of 25 without spontaneously combusting.

Luckily, there are the guides and teachers, wise ones and gurus along the way. The one's with voices we tune into...the one's who have just the right balance of advice, kindness, humility and wisdom. The person who laughed with us and didn't laugh at us. The person who believed we would make it past 25 and was willing to bet we could do it without blowing ourselves up.

That is basically what mentoring is all about.

I wish I could thank all the people who mentored me on my journey to 25 and beyond. Fortunately, I had the chance to share my gratitude with most of them before they passed on to their next great adventure.

But there are many I will never be able to thank. The many incidental mentors who never even knew that they were on my journey with me.

The incidental mentors in my life were frequent. Random strangers at bus stops and on trains who spoke a sort of transcendent vision that sustained me in some weird way. Other incidental mentors were people I watched and learned from...people I admired from afar. The raven-haired grad student who I listened to speak with such intellectual curiousity and intensity. The woman at the concert hall who carried herself with such grace and strength. Images and conversations that marked me, that remain a part of me even decades later...all gifts my incidental mentors have given me.

And now, I work with hundreds of mentors. Mentors who are choosing that role through Infinite Family.

And all you mentors who I am lucky enough to meet in training and online from time to time? I learn from you. I learn from John, our "gaia guy" as I call him, who is inspiring me. I learn from Mike, whose friends say, "wherever Mike goes love grows". I am touched by Lori, whose love for her Keneilwe, her Net Buddy, is just boundless. I am so honored to know Barbara, a risk-taker and joy-sower, a rule-breaker and flag-bearer.

Just look at all those incidental mentors, who don't even know I'm learning from them! Lucky me!

With all these mentors surrounding me, maybe eventually I'll become a little less naive and lazy, so when the next inevitable teen tech tragedy unfolds, I won't spontaneously combust along with my bank account!

Once again, thank you for all you do...!

Running the Gauntlet of Growing Up in South Africa

2009-03-21T12:15:00.004-04:00

This week, Manini's step-father was dragged from a car and stabbed to death.

Manini's response to our reaching out to her with concern was a deadened "These things happen."

And in her life, and the life of so many young people like her, it is true that these things do happen. Violent death, rape, the violence of poverty wrapped around the ever-present specter of HIV/AIDS buffets the children of Africa like a gauntlet of threatening men with bull-whips in their hands.

We can barely fathom what their days are like. In our days of complaining about traffic, decreasing investment portfolios and the trials and tribulations of appliances that break, children that whine and seemingly endless rounds of chores, tasks and responsibilities...it is hard to see our own lives as privileged.

But Betsy knows, and Cheryl is learning this from Liba and Chuck is being inspired by Siyabonga. The mentors of Infinite Family are given the gift of perspective from these incredible children of Infinite Family.

And Andrea? Andrea is logging on to a computer and coming face to face with Manini...sharing tears and the incredible depth of loss that Manini has faced in her very young life. Andrea in her NYC apartment, with her infant son, is a source of succor and support for this young woman who has no adult in her life...no one left to shoulder the grief with her and encourage her forward.

Manini is in a fragile place. A very smart, motivated young woman who has gone from orphanage to college. A fledgling success story. A child of infinite possibility.

A child of Infinite Family.

Infinite Family needs your support to continue to reach the children who run the gauntlet of growing up in such challenging circumstances.

Your support helps us keep Manini connected to an adult who isn't going anywhere...who she can count on...an adult mentor from Infinite Family.

We hope you would consider giving your time, talent and treasure to the children of Africa through Infinite Family. We make it easy, we make it fun...and it makes a difference.

We thank you for all you do!

Dana

Navigating the Technology Jungle!

2009-03-13T11:01:00.009-04:00

Refilwe, an orphanage and community enrichment program located in one of the more rural areas surrounding Johannesburg, loses its power in the Infinite Family computer center every time someone turns on the stove in the cottage next door.

Yes, indeed! Everyday is a new technology adventure with Infinite Family!

*When we teach computer skills at Refilwe, we do it in the dark...afraid to turn on the lights, overload the system and then lose the laboriously typed user profiles the children have been working on.

*Internet Solutions generously donates satellite access to all Infinite Family's computer centers. Which means these hunking-big satellites are attached to tin roofs, concrete block outbuildings and shipping containers masquerading as technology centers. This incredible access to the internet provided free of charge puts the ultimate strain on these less than stable structures. But somehow, these humble dwellings bear the burden of the satellites, beaming the smiling faces of our Net Buddies all the way to outer space and over the pond on a daily basis!

*Nkosi's Haven, a Johannesburg hospice for HIV+ women and their children, stitches together their Infinite Family connection by dangling the modem precariously from a chair...the only way to keep the ethernet wire connected!

And those are just a few of the technology problems in South Africa -- one of the best wired cities on the African continent!

As for the US, you'd think you'd be looking at a fairyland of technological wonders. Guess again!

*100 different users with different operating systems, computers of varying ages and abilities, less than adequate internet connections, modems that are flukey, and speaker/headphone systems that mysteriously want to do something other than work when it is time to be talking to a Net Buddy during a video conference. The US is no technological picnic.

*And in my own home in Pittsburgh PA, if I use my telephone and my microwave at the same time, I sound like I'm underwater and the popcorn won't pop!

Some days, it feels as if technology is a jungle of preying problems waiting to pounce!

And yet, Infinite Family somehow manages to create enduring and special connections between orphans in South Africa and mentors around the world. Mentors and Net Buddies meet every week, sharing their hopes and dreams, their daily lives and funny stories...laughing, creating poetry and chair-dancing to music together...all on this same amazing and frustrating link called technology.

Until of course, one of the kids at the orphanage gives the key to the computer center to a man named David who went away for the weekend...and who conveniently dropped his cell phone in the Crocodile River so he can't be reached. And then you realize even when the technology works, you've still got problems!

Oops!! Gotta go...my neighbor is using his CB Radio and his voice is coming through my computer speakers!!!

Technology...you've got to love it!

Louis CK's perspective

2009-03-05T16:39:00.004-05:00

Last night, when I was roaming through the Facebook realm, I came upon a video that made me laugh out loud (or lol, if you do that sort of thing). Louis CK was on a rant on the Conan O'Brien Show about how completely ungrateful we are.

Louis CK did a lol job of pointing out how completely jaded and unappreciative we are of the miracles of our daily modern life. Louis painted a familiar picture of how instead of being completely ga-ga over the miracle of the cell phone, we whine over a dropped call. He wonders why we aren't absolutely stuck to the airplane windows amazed by the fact that we moving through the air in a chair in the sky. Instead, we are impatient, grumpy and never satisfied with whatever we have.

One thing the kids of Infinite Family give me every day is perspective. They are totally over the moon about touching the keys on a keyboard and sending the words they labor to write zooming across the room in an email to a friend. They are proud and bashful at seeing their faces splashed across the computer screen and beamed around the world. They are absolutely amazed by the fact that some adult out there in the big wide world of "important stuff" wants to spend time with them...they who live small lives in shanty towns or orphanages struggling to attain the basic necessities of life.

This miracle of relationship is not lost on these kids. The encouraging words they hear, the advice filled emails they get, the smiles that are shared with them are not incidentals in their day. These interactions are a miraculous intervention in a humble life.

So, yes, Louis CK has nailed us...painted a completely accurate picture of our wanton disregard for the amazing life we live. But if you want a weekly reminder of the wonders of technology and the beauty of shared time -- look no further than Infinite Family.

(I'll give you the Louis CK link because I want you to lol, too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus)

A Hero named Tsietsi...

2009-02-26T10:54:00.006-05:00

Today I know that in a tin shack in Alexandria, a South African township wracked by poverty and stalled by underdevelopment, a boy named Tsietsi is thinking about my son Desmond.

While our Net Buddies wait for mentors, I am lucky enough to correspond with Infinite Family's kids via email. Getting messages in their inbox is exciting and keeps them practicing their nascent computer skills. I try to keep them typing by asking them to tell me stories about their lives. The truth is, I am the one who is honored to have my inbox filled with their testimonies of resilience and hope.

A few weeks ago, I asked Tsietsi to write me a funny story. Instead, this is what I received:

Hi Dana Gold

My funny story about me is that I have finished my grade 12 last year, and one thing which makes me frastrated when I think of is that, I failed grade 1 which many people regard it as the most easiest class in school, so when I am trying to tease my friends they just say ''a normal person has never failed grade 1'',they try to make it a joke and I really gets frastrated indeed.

From

Tsietsi

Not the funny story I was looking for. A story that deserved to be honored with some vulnerability of my own. I responded with the following:

Hi Tsietsi!

Oh, that is a hard story. My son has also had to repeat grade 1. He is repeating this year. It makes him sad, too. He is also afraid that the children will tease him.

You could be his hero! You were able to persevere (never give up) which is one of the biggest ways to succeed!

Congratulations on never giving up! Maybe you could share some wise words for my son, Desmond, so that he does not get discouraged.

Thank you for sharing your story, Tseitsi.

Much love,

Dana

Tsietsi did indeed share his wise words. Wise words for me, not just my son!

Hi Dana

You know what, as humans we are not the same. Desmond and Tsietsi are
not the same but you need to tell him how much important he is and
that he must keep on working hard. You know what, trust me, show Desmond more
love and you will see he is going to be such an intelligent son and one day you
are going to be proud of him.

From.

Tsietsi

So, today, in South Africa, there is a hero walking around the halls of Realogile High School. A hero in his own life, my son's life and my own. His name is Tsietsi.

Encouragement

2009-02-20T12:50:00.006-05:00

It isn't everyday that I am "on call" anymore. Back when Infinite Family first started I was "on call" during our video conferencing times almost every day of the week. Although I am glad for the time I now have to advance Infinite Family's mission -- I miss the special little glimpses into our Net Buddies world that came with being "on call".

But today...I'm on call!

Which means I get to share with you my little window into another world.

First, Christina, our Net Fundi at the Haven, called to tell me about the changes in the VC schedule. M. wasn't going to be able to make it to his VC today. When I inquired about the reason, she responded, "it has something to do with his body...but he won't talk to me about it." That is Christina's bit of short hand for saying he had recently gotten circumcised.

Since it was discovered that circumcision reduces the transmission rate of HIV/AIDS, many of the older boys have been scheduled for the surgery. As you can imagine, none of them is eager for the procedure. And all of them have to go it alone.

Since the boys are orphaned, there is no mother to sit with them in the aftermath of such surgery. And since the boys are in their late teens, the understaffed orphanages can't spare anyone to accompany them to the hospital or be there for them as they struggle with the pain.

So, M. wasn't coming to his VC.

I called Lisa, his Infinite Family mentor to tell her. She told me of how scared M. had been, how nightmarish the hospital experience was for him. She told me of how worried she was that there was no mother or father there for M. to go to, to depend on, to make sure that this very sensitive surgical site did not get infected. Lisa felt so sad for her boy, M.

So, she wrote him an email. I'd like to share part of it with you:

My dear M,

Long time no see. Boy, I miss you so much. I miss your smile and laugh. I hope things are going alright with you. I am so sorry that you had to experience the hospital all by yourself. I wish I was there to be by your side and hold your hand, to comfort you thru the scary times.

I want you to know that you can talk to me any time you need to. I am here for you always. I am not going anywhere. I love you M. You are the son I never had, and I am very proud of you.

If something is wrong with you please tell the house mother. If your circumcision is infected please tell her. You may need to get some medicine to cure it up...

Write me a email to let me know what's going on. Take care of yourself young man. I'll be talking to you soon.

HUGS TIGHT, Lisa

Lisa is 8000 miles away from M. and confined to a wheelchair. She can't use her hands to type, so she uses a special instrument to help her navigate the keyboard.

But do all those physical limitations lessen the impact of her words? No. Her words, to a very uncomfortable and lonely boy in an orphanage in South Africa are the medicine he needs.

And Lisa supplies it!

Infinite Family mentors are special people. I am so blessed to know them!

You can know them, too! Become a part of Infinite Family today! Join our next mentoring training class on March 23rd!

Thanks for caring...

Dana

Become part of the great whole...

2008-10-19T04:44:00.005-04:00

A good friend of mine read my latest blog and commented, “My reaction, and probably that of most of your readers, is what can we do to give these children so talented with words and a keyboard some hope and a viable future?”

That is a great question. And one I would like to answer by introducing you to Gail, one of Infinite Family’s wonderful volunteer mentors.

This week, Gail wrote the following letter to the editor of her local paper:
“"It's all about me" is a slogan that reflects our current culture. This focus on ourselves and our need to have the biggest and the best has put our country into an economic crisis. It is time to rethink our priorities.

I have learned many wonderful things from a young woman I mentor in South Africa through Infinite Family. She lives in a shelter and washes her clothes in a tub in the yard. One of her greatest delights is taking food to "the poor." By our standards, she herself would be considered poor but her standards are different. Her life is rich because she focuses on what she has, not on what she doesn't have. It is time for us to do the same.”

Gail continues on to talk about her choice in the upcoming presidential election.

So, what difference does this letter make? I think what Gail is showing us is a full circle, fully integrated experience that can result from plunging bravely in to do whatever we can to try to impact the world’s greatest hurts. Let me explain:

First, Gail got involved. She chose a way for herself to make a difference in the world…in the lives of the vulnerable, often orphaned, and impoverished children of South Africa.

Second, Gail shared her experience. She educates others by sharing what she has learned, describing what she has witnessed and encouraging others to get involved.
Third, Gail is applying what she is learning from the child who washes her clothes in a tub to her own situation. Gail is being inspired to examine her own life, patterns of consumption and view of the world and make changes. A sort of “live simply so others can simply live” experience.

And lastly, Gail is using what she has experienced to inform how she engages the larger world. She is writing to the paper. She is voting and she is keeping her elected officials informed of her priorities.

Now, one might say, “Good for Gail. What an admirable person!” and then leave it at that. But I say, if each one of us were to follow Gail’s lead, just imagine how powerful our collective experience would be?

If each of us found a way to involve ourselves, open ourselves and learn. If each of us plunged in and shared our experience and encouraged others to join us. If each of us were to do our small part, all our small parts would become part of a great whole.

Never underestimate the power of a single person.

These children are waiting for mentors. We need caring, adventurous adults who will take 30 minutes a week to mentor a child. You can harness the power of a single person and use it to make a huge difference in the life of that child.

You can become part of that great whole. Become part of Infinite Family.

The girls...

2008-10-17T17:57:00.003-04:00

And what is more tragic than the boys of South Africa? Only the girls.

Oh my. The reed thin, bright eyed 12 year old girl who repeatedly stokes the leg of our 35 year old male staff member and asks him if he is married. E. who introduces herself on her blog with the story of her sexual abuse. F. who stiffens and pulls away as I place my hands on her shoulders. M. who writes me an email out of desperation, scared witless by her father’s threats that he will beat her with a club. And he does.

On “graduation” day, when we give the children a certificate of achievement for participating in Infinite Family’s training, we ask if any one would like to explain to the parents who come for the occasion, what IF is about. Several boys stand up to give speeches. No girls. I encourage the girls, looking directly at the most confident of them…with no response. One girl runs out into the courtyard, too embarrassed by the invitation to even stay in the room with her fellow students.

Gail Johnson, the Executive Director of Nkosi’s Haven, explains that only one third of the rapes committed in South Africa are ever actually reported. Therefore it is impossible to know if the estimated 250,000 that occur each year are an under-reporting or not.

The women bear the abuse, they bear the children and they bear the burden of providing for their families.

I have no poetry or analogies that can change these facts. They are heart-wrenching, sickening, depressing.

We who can, must guide these girls to a better future. We who care, must be there to help heal, to listen, to witness their pain. Many of these girls have never met a woman who wasn’t abused. Many of these girls accept this painful path as the only possibility for their future. We know another way. We must share it.

So, share. Share your vision. Share your hope. Share yourself.

Their gift is you.

Waiting for the Rains

2008-10-16T17:59:00.002-04:00

Waiting for the rains. The whole of Johannesburg has been waiting for the rains. They should have started by now. October is the month for the rains to begin…but nothing comes. Barely a cloud graces the sky. We move slowly as the unrelenting sun beats down on us. It is so hot. So very scorchingly hot. The ground is baked brown, the grasses are stubble. We hear that the rains have come to Cape Town and Durban, but Johannesburg still waits.

Then tonight, as I sit working, I hear a rumble. Is someone moving furniture? Or is it thunder? I move outside to listen. The tell-tale flash of lightening splits the sky. The thunder grows more ominous. The first fat drops of rain raise the scent of dust as they hit the thirsty soil. I wait for the deluge, for the real rain to drench me as I stand expectantly with my face lifted toward the roiling clouds.

But nothing happens. The thunder dies away. The lightening disappears. The dust remains. The drops of rain evaporate without a trace.

Waiting for change. The whole of South Africa has been waiting for change. The people think that the changes should have occurred by now…for it has been a decade since independence…but it is too little, too late. There are new cement block homes built in the outskirts of Alexandra, but they are far out numbered by homes fashioned from tin and wire. There is freedom of movement, but not freedom from prejudice. There are more opportunities, but in a country where 30% is a passing grade in school, not enough people are adequately prepared to take advantage of those opportunities.

And so, we hear the thunder roar. Mbeki steps down from the presidency. The ANC threatens to split into two parties. Zuma, the heir apparent to the presidency, threatens violence against those who would oppose his control. The lightening of xenophobia rips across the land, leaving many innocent dead. There is roiling anger which rumbles through the townships as the frustration mounts. Change comes in small drops, not enough to satisfy the parched throats of those who hunger and thirst for justice.

We still have confidence that the rains will come eventually, but the changes? Will they come, too?

The children hope for the future. They sit before me and exude hope for their futures. I am surrounded by aspiring engineers, social workers and entrepreneurs who believe in the opportunities that await them. These children are not bitter about their government. They speak with pride about their country. When I ask the children what makes South Africa special they use words like, freedom, culture, opportunity, diversity. As I watch these talented and beautiful children learn new skills, open up to new ideas and adventurously plunge forward into the world of Infinite Family, I wonder…when does all this hopefulness become bitterness? What makes the optimism wilt away?

But like the rains, we must water their hope and nourish their optimism. We must be the rain that feeds their parched souls as they hunger for attention, advice and affirmation. For without the rain of love that we can offer, there will be a drought of hope in this land of South Africa.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Didn’t a wise South African man named Ghandi say that? Proud culture. Proud history. Bright future?

Hoping with you...and waiting for the rains!

Dana

The Boys of South Africa

2008-10-14T20:13:00.002-04:00

We dodge down the streets listening to L., our driver, on the way to Alexandra. We swerve around vendors hawking their wares, the women and children palms out and waiting for spare change, the honking mini-van taxis, the pedestrians pouring off the sidewalks and the uniformed children on the way to school. L. is telling us his story. The story of a single man in South Africa, working in a factory to support his two small daughters, barely putting enough food on the table and watching the men around him taking the easy way out...surrendering themselves to alcohol, dangerous schemes and a licentious life.

L. is railing against his country men. He declares them unwilling to work. Unable to accept that success comes from persistence and incredible effort. He says the men of his country want only a handout...not a hand up.

I ask L., as we crawl past the shacks of Alexandra, alongside the entrepreneurial businesses that struggle to stay upright beneath the press of homes that surround them, "Why? Why have the men of South Africa so totally given up on themselves and their futures?

His answer is unsatisfying. He believes it is "the nature of the men of South Africa." What a fatalistic sentence to inherit along with the chromosome that determines gender!

But L. is right...no one can deny his perspective is not fueled by experience and truth. The residue of apartheid is not just seen in the incredible inequity between the desperate poor and the very wealthy. The residue of apartheid is seen in the fragile family structures shaken to their roots by the forced separation of parents from one another and parents from their children. The psychological residue of apartheid, a system that took away freedom of movement, freedom of choice and freedom of self-determination, will take at least a generation to recover from.

And then, after wending our way through the densely packed streets of Alexandra, we arrive at Realogile High School to train some new Net Buddies. We crowd into a small room partitioned off on one end of a baking hot container, full of children all eager to learn more about Infinite Family.

In the computer room, 2 sixteen year old boys, Sizwe and Daddy, are eager to start. Their fingers jump swiftly over the keyboards, filling their profiles and writing emails. They are keen and clever with the computers. Later, in the container room with me, Daddy's clear, concise, intelligent prose blows me away. I tell him he is born to be a lawyer! He laughs with delight!

I want to go and fetch L.. I want him to witness the shining eyes and eager spirits of these boys. These boys who are longing for the right man to guide them...to show them the way...to keep from the crooked path and help them to realize their dreams for the future.

What Daddy needs, what Sizwe needs, what every young boy and girl needs is attention. A concerned, invested, admiring adult to be there...to believe in them...to encourage and support them. The stranglehold of apartheid does not have to claim these children, too. We are seeing the difference. Boys and girls thinking beyond matric and focusing on a future they would not have believed within their grasp, but because of the mentors of Infinite Family, they are becoming the children of hope...the leaders of tomorrow.

Until tomorrow...

Dana

Seventh Street Guesthouse Perspective

2008-10-12T18:25:00.004-04:00

Seventh Street Guest House….

I am so aware of Shannon’s “first day” perspective on South Africa. The nice homes, the big city lights, the sophisticated billboards…all the glam of Johannesburg. It looks so lovely and modern….so European…so expected, that Shannon proclaims a lack of culture shock.

As we walk from the guesthouse, past the homes with the modern sculptures and backyard pools…we pass a walkway lined with the graceful and fragrant blossoms of the bougainvillea. I reach out to trace the petals of a bloom and find just beneath the blossoms the geometrical outline of gleaming razor wire.

The danger beneath the beauty.

So much of South Africa is beautiful. The rich, cultural heritage. The modern, booming economy. The lovely, sophisticated cities. The vibrant art and intricate history. But running just beneath the surface is fear and danger.

Fear engendered from living in a country of have’s and desperate have-nots. Fear that comes from promises made to right old injustices that haven’t been realized rapidly enough. Fear that grows out of political turmoil in a nascent democracy. Fear that is heard and felt and realized in home after home in every neighborhood throughout South Africa.

One of the communities where our net buddies live is about to be wiped out. M., S. and N. all live in an informal settlement that is being demolished in the near future. Where will they go? What will they do? When will it happen? No one has the answers. But the simple fact that these children will have their homes bulldozed by entrepreneurs bent on building a golf course is not to be questioned. These children live in fear of their future.

Today, M. and J. had an open house. They have sold their businesses and are leaving the country. They are moving themselves and their livelihoods to Vancouver. They are tired of living in fear. They are through with wondering when they will be attacked or car-jacked. They are done with wondering when the next awful, horrendous thing will happen in their country. This family is done living in fear of their future.

October in South Africa; the jacarandas are in bloom and the sun shines every day. We bask in the warmth of the sun and revel in the gracious hospitality of our Seventh Street Guesthouse proprietors. Yet we look over our shoulders as the bougainvillea graze over our fingertips. We are cautious. We are wary. We have seen the razor wire and the appraising glances. We read the headlines and know the risks. Yet we still have hope for South Africa’s future and that is why we are here.

Infinite Family brings hope to South Africa, one idealistic adult at a time. We bring you, with your faith and your concern, your tender love and nurture, to these children who live in a world of impermanence and fear.

One of our Net Families recently said, “Relationships can change the world.” We believe that. You believe that. Your Net Buddies believe that. That is why we all set aside a half hour each week to meet face to face. To prioritize a time to talk. To use our time, the biggest commodity of all, to invest in a relationship. A relationship with a child who lives in fear, whose future is uncertain, who has limited resources and few adults to guide them. Infinite Family relationships CAN change the world…the world of the children of Nkosi’s Haven, Refilwe and Alexandra.

You inspire us. You inspire your Net Buddies. You do indeed change the world….one relationship at a time.

Tomorrow – Shannon’s second day perspective…

Stay well!
Dana

Dying Empty, October 2007, Day 8

2008-10-06T22:38:00.001-04:00

Cha-Cha in the Garden, October 2007, Day 7

2008-10-06T22:36:00.001-04:00

Well, we finally made it to Nkosi’s Haven. It always feels like coming home. It is amazing to think that these wonderful children were our very first Net Buddies…the very first in the world, to be exact! As we spend time with your beautiful buddies, it strikes me how much you’ve seen them change. You’ve watched their hair styles change, their computer confidence grow and their English blossom. You’ve learned their secret hurts and hopes. You’ve grumbled over frozen vc’s and stumbled over language differences together. You have heard about their days at school, their struggles with friends and maybe struggled with them yourself. You’ve done everything but touch them.

So today, they preformed for us. Dancing in the garden. Cha-cha, rhumba and jive blared from the boombox as a brick patchwork patio filled with children. And then they swayed and twirled, skirts swirling and toes pointing. Oh, what a sight. The joyous freedom of movement set to song.

And all I could think was how you’ve never seen your Net Buddies move…you’ve only seen them set into a small box on a computer screen. And yet, with just that much of them, you have created an amazing bond. A magical bond. Face to face, but never touching. Heads and shoulders, but never legs and arms. You’ve embraced them nonetheless. An embrace so enduring and so humbling.

So, I watched your Net Buddies dance today. They were beautiful.

You’re beautiful, too.

We thank you for what you do. And someday, we hope you, too, will see them dance.

Dana

Lessons Learned! Oct. 2007, Day 4

2008-10-06T22:34:00.000-04:00

So, we learn our lesson from Saturday, right? We change the time from 8am and decide to go for a reasonable 9:00 am on Sunday. Especially after the vicious thunderstorm that boomed and roared for over 3 hours on Saturday night, all we could think was that children living precariously on a hillside in the most temporary of structures would have had a really bad night. So, when we show up a bit late on Sunday morning, we don’t really have very high expectations of anyone being on time.

SURPRISE! Instead of an empty computer room, or even one with the anticipated seven children from the squatter camps, what we have is a room crowded with twenty kids! Whoa. Regroup. Rethink. Act fast. Should we send half of them home? Not a chance. They were there, they were eager, and even though we really expected just 13 kids over the course of the next four days…twenty at once? Hey, go for it.

Micael triple teamed our Net Buddies-in-training on the five computers. He had our intrepid Noah staff , Nomaza and Melidah, as well as our two Net Fundi’s Piet and Christina, zipping from computer screen to computer screen…AND he had no lights. Oh well. Dark room, bright screens? That’s enough light to get by with…and as he said ¾’s of the way through on Monday, it felt “kind of cozy”, once you got used to it.

We found a few children who stood out as bright and shining stars. Winnie memorized her ORIGINAL password (remember the rocket code we handed out to you at the training??) and was logging on for her videoconference without any coaching at all. Siyanbonga and Mtuseni concluded that the American process of bankrolling elections was similar to auctioning our candidates to the highest bidder. Clifford couldn’t believe that a country as rich as ours could have a problem such as homelessness and not have the ability to solve it.

Tuesday is our last day at Refilwe. We will be matching the most recently trained Refilwe kids with our newest trained Net Families from Pittsburgh. What fun! And an added bonus...we now have a scanner at Refilwe! Ask the kids to scan in drawings, pictures and homework. Just hope the scanner doesn't bring the entire electrical system in the computer room to it's knees!

So, until tomorrow…when of course, we will continue to learn more lessons!

Best to the best!

Dana

Isn't it Saturday and aren't we in Africa? October 2007, Day 3

2008-10-06T22:33:00.001-04:00

Our first day at Refilwe, Jaco with a completely deadpan face, said to us as we were detailing the complexity and timing of our schedule,“did you forget you were in Africa?”
Well, Saturday’s schedule called for an 8am start time. This necessitated bringing 20 children from the hive-like streets of Alexandra, herding them onto a bus and driving for almost an hour. What in heaven’s name were we thinking? Whose brain-baby was that? (Ahem, Micael?)

So, anyhow, everyone eventually showed up by 9:30…eager, well-rested and excited. Even though it was their day off, the adult staff of Noah, who had already survived two days of training with us, doggedly stood behind the children at the keyboards. Goodwill, Nomaza and Melidah patiently guided our future Net Buddies as they hunted and pecked their way through emails, typing games (thanks Shannon!) and webcam chats.

By the end of the day, all the children sat crowded into the little library for our graduation ceremony. After holding up the certificates and showing them the Infinite Family watches, I looked down at Mokodi to see tears streaming down her face even though she was smiling ear to ear. I knelt down and while wiping the tears, asked her why she was crying…and all she could do was laugh and hold onto my skirt.

The children cheered and clapped for one another as each of them came forward to accept their certificate proclaiming them to be official IF Net Buddies and accomplished users of the Ezomndeni Net.
After many photos and hugs, the children climbed aboard their bus and headed back home. But we know, that even though there are computers purchased and a plan in place for installation, we still don’t have enough Net Families for all these children.

Saturday, in your town. Wondering how you’ll get the errands run, the soccer games accomplished and still get the laundry done. Saturday in Africa. Children standing outside a shipping container, looking with longing at a computer screen, a webcam and another child, chatting and laughing with their Net Family.

How about it? A half an hour once or twice a week? It just can’t be that hard to schedule…after all we’re Americans…the ones who schedule 8am trainings for African children from shanty towns!

Pass it on! We’re ready for you!

Dana

The Original Vision -- October 2007 Day Two

2008-10-06T22:31:00.000-04:00

You know all the promotional materials you see for IF that have us, Micael or Amy or I, training children on the computer? Well, that definitely has not been the original vision of what we hoped to achieve. What we hoped was that one day, we would have the adults who work with and look like the children of Infinite Family, training the children how to use the address book, teaching the difference between double and single clicking with a mouse, and showing them how to determine if the sound is working in their videoconferences. Well, today, we got one step closer to our dream.

For the last two days we have been training the staff of Noah and Refilwe – hugely impressive, dedicated, bright and inspiring people – some of them using computers for the very first time. As all of us know, when beginning the journey of familiarizing yourself with a keyboard, tool bars and all the various and sundry icons that populate any page on a computer, it can be overwhelming and intimidating. But after just six hours of training, with several of the staff skipping lunch to practice, we had four extra trainers when the children of Realogile showed up after lunch to begin their journey as new learners of technology.

Melidah hovered over the shoulder of Sibusisu guiding him as he typed in his password. Nomaza pointed out the choices on the toolbar to Malao. Goodwill made sure that Judith had the chat function “down” in the videoconference corner. Micael and I stood in awe as we watched our dream become a reality.

And then, in the library, where our fledgling Net Buddies learned more about the particulars of how being a Net Buddy works, they shared songs and dances, argued over who knew more about HIV, and encouraged each other with applause as they shyly or boldly shared what made them special.

One of their tasks was to create something that helped us understand what made their country of South Africa special. Colored pencil sketches of beaches and huts emerged from the white paper. Poems enwreathed with flowers and birds blossomed from the children’s creative imaginations. Songs of independence and pride filled the room.

I too shared what made South Africa special to me. I told these lovely, spirited, squirming and curious children that the greatest gift South Africa had to offer the world was them…all of them, sitting across from me, beaming with pride.

We are very fortunate to share in the very best of South Africa…our wonderful Net Buddies.

I think we all agree!

Go Well…as they say in these parts!

Dana

What happens next? October 2007 Day 1

2008-10-06T22:25:00.002-04:00

Today was rainy and cool, like much of today where you are, we understand. Spring and fall…cousins headed in two different directions!
The staff of NOAH (Nurturing Orphans of AIDS for Humanity www.noahorphans.org.za) came to Refilwe today to learn more about the Infinite Family program. They listened attentively and nodded appreciatively in all the right places…and then they began to ask very insightful questions. “What will happen to these children and families when they grow very close to one another?” “What will happen when the children grow older and move on? Will the relationships end?”

These are questions we can not answer. The answers lie ahead of us.

We walked through an “informal settlement” today called Joe Slovo after one of the anti-apartheid movements freedom fighters. Joe Slovo is a very small community of corrugated tin one room shacks which can house up to 8 people. Roofs are held in place by stones hanging down from the eaves, tree limbs and an odd assortment of broken big wheels, doll houses and old tires placed strategically to keep everything from blowing away. After the torrential rain we experienced just a few hours earlier, we wondered at how these dirt floor shanties set into a hillside could have possibly stayed in place. Our next group of 15 children all live in these neat and tidy homes. No electricity, no heat and little hope for a better life, these children will be introduced to the love of strangers almost 8000 miles away.

How will these relationships affect these children’s lives? How will the world outside of their rough, rural experience impact how they see themselves and their chances for a happier future?

These are questions we can not answer. The answers lie ahead of us.

And the answers have a lot to do with you.

We are ever grateful and thankful for your willingness to walk the road with us, ask the questions with us and live into the answers with us.

And with that gratitude, we close….

Dana

Dancing with Orphans -- July 2007 Last day

2008-10-06T22:25:00.001-04:00

My last day here, I wake up to a grey sky...such a strange thing in Jo'burg! My last few days have been full of so many experiences...too many to put into this space without being late for my plane!

But a few images for you...

Sitting in the home of a family that had lost 6 people to HIV/AIDS within the last 18 months....wanting to cry at the story of one adult not taking ARV's so that she can keep her viral load low enough to continue to get the stipend they give people with HIV. Choosing between food and health...sacrificing health for the sustenance of her family.

Alicia Keyes on a celebrity pit-stop, asked a group of orphaned children, "who is your hero?" As the children around her named Oprah, Usher and others, one teenage girl who had lost both her parents within a year's time turned to another orphaned child and said, "you are my hero...you show me the way to go on!"

And then, last night, at a fundraising dinner for TLC, I danced in a crowd of 20 children. All these little ones had started out as tiny little beings left in doorways, dustbins and public toilets...to end up here on a dance floor...filled with the joy of the music and staying up way too late...all blessed with life and love and enough to eat. It is possible to make their harsh start take a back seat to the possibilities of a wonderful future.

You are part of making that joy and that hope crowd out the sadness and despair. You, too, are dancing with orphans!

See you on the other side of the ocean very soon!

With gratitude for all you do~

Dana

Dusty Shoes at the Johannesburg Stock Exchange -- July 2007 Day 10

2008-10-06T22:22:00.004-04:00

Today, I went from the board room of Investec, to the dusty shacks of Alexandra...one of the poorest townships and the most dangerous places in all of South Africa. Dressed for the board room in heels and skirt, I bumped and rocked through the pitted, narrow streets of Alex, past tin shacks, outdoor barbershops and people butchering meat right on the sidewalk in the warm afternoon sun. I was in Alex to visit the next site we are working on developing with NOAH, one of our NGO partners (www.noah.org.za), at a school called Realogile. I had arranged to bring four people from Bombardier, our newest corporate partner, to the site to catch the vision of what we are doing...and to help elicit their support to overcome the challenges we face in making this happen in the face of crime, limited public services and over-crowded conditions. As these four people who work less than 15 minutes away in their secure and comfortable offices experienced Alex for the very first time, they asked me to reflect on whether poverty was worse in South Africa, or in any of the other African countries I had visited. I said, a shack is a shack, a malnourished, undereducated child is the same wherever you go, but the disparities of wealth and poverty are so much more stark in South Africa than in any other country I've visited.

And then, from Alex, with the dust still coating my heels, I walked into the beautiful and opulent offices of the Johannesburg Stock Exchange. Yes, disparity. Vast disparity. But the people who sit in these offices, who work for these multimillion dollar companies are good people...good people willing to take time out of their days and their lives to visit Alex, listen to the story of your work with orphaned children, and be inspired and moved by our efforts and therefore motivated to make further attempts of their own. They too are willing to face the pain and work to lessen the divide, the stark disparities of their world.

The dust will remain embedded in my shoes for a long time...and the memories even longer.

Tomorrow it is back to Soweto and then off to Thembisa. I end the day with a visit to the head of the Department of Community Development for the City of Johannesburg who I hope will give us the go-ahead to begin working with the Techno Centers. Another great day doing wonderful work!

Lucky me!

Dana

July 2007 Day 9

2008-10-06T22:21:00.001-04:00

The reality of life in South Africa is graveyards established in 2002 filling up before the end of 2006. The stunning view of acres of gravesites literally shoulder to shoulder and head to toe withyoung people dying before their time moved me to choke back tears as we sped past. It is so easy, as I move amoung the bustling life of the city, the vibrancy of the children to miss the death...to not see it hidden just barely out of view.

And then to be swarmed by the children...the orphaned children of the Refilwe community...125 children under the age of 5....is to see the grief of those graves. To know the loss, to hear the stories...

One outreach worker told me of finding an 18 month old clinging to a 3 month old in a shack in a shanty town beside the body of their dead mother...alone for days. Another describes the indescribable obstacles faced by the 15 year old head of a 4 child household, the decisions he makes, the sacrifices he endures for his siblings...!

Indeed the children we work with, the children you mentor are not in such situations...anymore. The work of our NGO partners to give these children a life that is at least normal...that includes enough food, clothing to wear, decent schools and the ability to dream of a future. You are part of that. Part of helping them to dream of a future that is both rich and happy.

Thanks is a small word that comes of your large work. We all thank you. For your pioneering spirit, your willingess to reach past what is known and comfortable, your tenacity to stick it through with the shy boys and the flighty teenage girls. Without you their lives would be the poorer...and I daresay, so would all of ours.

With thanks for all you do!

And hey, spring is coming to South Africa (...did I mention it was DARN cold here??) a reminder of hope and new life for us all.

With great appreciation,

Dana

July 2008 Day 8

2008-10-06T22:20:00.000-04:00

Imagine. Just imagine. Imagine being so compelled by the crisis and desperation of the children in your community that you moved rice, toilet paper and donated clothes into your bedroom, an office of volunteers, maize meal and files into your living room and brought a shipping container equipped with a two burner stovetop into your front yard so that you could arrange for 800 children to have two nutritious meals every day of the week. Imagine you are a woman in your late 50’s with limited resources living in Soweto named Tony Gloria and you are now imagining a woman who would do just that.
Today I spent a few hours living in the realm of imagining with Tony Gloria. She showed me the piles of bricks beside the lined up plates of food waiting for the arrival of 200 children into her garden. Those bricks are the promise of a computer center that she is building…which up until four days ago when I first met her, was supposed to be a small, private living area for her. But when Tony Gloria heard the story of Infinite Family, Tony Gloria started imagining. Tony began imagining that small L-shaped building holding 20 computers which would connect all these children of limited future to adults in the US through Infinite Family. Tony began imagining a new future for these children. A future of promise and hope and new skills.

So, let’s imagine with Tony Gloria and all the other amazing heroes we are still to meet and have the honor of assisting in this incredible journey they have undertaken to help the orphaned and vulnerable children of Soweto and Alexandria and Berea. These are amazing people who humble us with their sacrifice, their dedication and their ability to imagine.

Imagine. Just imagine~
I am!

Dana

July 2007 Day 7

2008-10-06T22:19:00.001-04:00

Hey ho…back to Nkosi’s Haven Again!

Well, today at Nkosi’s Haven, we had three amazing kids, who a year ago, didn’t know how to navigate a keyboard, installing donated Logitech cameras, downloading scanner software from Canon online and regulating the sound so our new Sennheiser headphones sound as good as they should. All I had to do was coach, encourage and watch. AMAZING!! I even had one of the young people politely tell me that he thought I was doing something wrong when installing the cameras…! “Eh, Dana, don’t you think you should plug in the camera first?” Confidence, skills, an eagerness to learn; all keys to a better future…all emerging due to their desire to talk with and see you each week.

You never knew you were teaching computer skills, did you?

Tomorrow, it is off to Soweto and to meet with the head of the program that distributes ARV meds to HIV+ kids.
Oh, and by the way, we hope the sound will be without reverberation and echoes now and the picture will be brighter and clearer…so thank Christina, Ayanda and Keabetswe the next time you have a less frustrating vc!!!

And as they say in South Africa,

Go well!
Dana

July 2007 Days 4, 5, 6

2008-10-06T22:18:00.001-04:00

Well, three wonderful days have gone by since last filling you all in on my travels here in South Africa. So, time to get busy!

Friday was spent visiting two new potential sites for Infinite Family expansion and having the opportunity to spread the word about Infinite Family to all the employees at Bombardier SA at the very generous invitation of their VP in charge of operations, Dave Berry.

The first site I visited was the Tomorrow Trust run by Kim Feinberg. Tomorrow Trust focuses on educational support for orphaned and vulnerable children. They help by enriching the learning opportunities for really motivated children from some of the poorest circumstances and then enabling them to be successful in college by providing life skills, academic and emotional support. This support is invaluable as these vulnerable children make the huge transition from poverty and group living situations to independence and success.

My biggest surprise of the day was walking into The Techno Centre, the most high tech and well maintained computer center I’ve ever seen in South Africa. Not only were the machines the best technologically, but there was a sound studio and video production room, too! All this is available after school for children from the squatter camp and orphanage in the neighborhood. Interestingly, the computers are not connected to the internet, because the role of the Techno Centre is to encourage creativity by providing the latest in software so that the children can create their own video games, music videos and artwork. These kids are really primed for Net Families who have a personal interest in technology! The staff there were totally jazzed about partnering with IF!

On Saturday I spent the whole day at Refilwe…! What a wonderful group of kids! I gave all of them hugs from you as well as snapped lots of photos. At the beginning of our time together I gathered all 20 children together in the computer center for a recording of The Dana Winfrey Show! The kids passed around the mic while I manned the videocamera. I invited them all to share the best and most difficult things about being a Net Buddy. Every child talked about their appreciation for you, the wonderful adults in their lives. They talked about the love they feel, the closeness and warmth of the relationship, as well as the things they have learned from their Net Families.

All of them also said that the hardest thing about being a Net Buddy was all the questions they are asked…particularly at the very beginning of the relationship. (I have heard that all Americans ask a lot of questions over here…particularly this one with the red hair!) I explained that the questions were our attempts at showing interest and being friendly. One insightful Net Buddy explained to all her peers that she was surprised by all the questions, too…but then decided that this was just the way Americans were. So, in order for her to help her Net Family feel comfortable, she brings questions for her Net Family, too!

Today was a quieter day. I finally slept more than a few hours…and then was taken to an African Market by my host, Niven Postma, the former CEO of Noah. I spent the latter part of the day holding babies at TLC, where they are terribly short of volunteers. So many HIV+ children are living fuller and longer lives due to ARV treatment, which is a wonderful thing, but there is very little hope for them to find adoptive homes. This keeps places like TLC fuller than ever as they continue to care for these lovely, bright-eyed children as well as the constant stream of abandoned newborns to which there is no end in sight.

Tomorrow it is back to Nkosi’s Haven…lucky me!!!

All the best!

Dana

July 2007 Day Three

2008-10-06T22:17:00.001-04:00

Hello everyone!

I spent the morning at a pediatric AIDS hospice and home called Cotlands. They are an impressive organization that has been serving the needs of troubled young people for over 100 years. Today, Cotlands runs an AIDS support program for children that reaches from the Eastern Cape, to Kwa-Zulu Natal and into Soweto and Jo’burg. They reach thousands of children all suffering from HIV. As I spoke with Jackie Schoemann, the executive director, I was so impressed by the wide range of services that extend to the children and their families in the community. Through the years, their support of children left homeless due to orphaning has skyrocketed. In addition, the children who would have once died at a young age are now living into their teens because of the aggressive program to reach children with anti-retroviral medications. This has left them with a large group of residential children who live and are schooled at the Cotlands Center in Turffontein.

Residential children with not enough adults to give them plenty of adult attention?? Welcome Infinite Family! We hope that the children of Cotlands will become matched with mentors one day soon, so that little Sibongile, who is 7 years old and dependent on an oxygen tank, will have someone to sit with and quietly share her day. We hope that little Mpulo, an effervescent three year old, scarred all over his face and head from a shack fire, will eventually have someone who looks forward to seeing his lovely shining smile every week. We look forward to an adult in the US, seeing each child hold up the lovely paintings they made in the courtyard on this gorgeous winter morning. What you do has a powerful message for children who suffer as these children do.

In the afternoon, I was able to meet with the head of the Bombardier division in South Africa…excited to see them catch the vision of all that we are doing enough to take a trip out to Refilwe to meet the children there and experience the magic of vc mentoring! We’ll see you on Saturday, all you Refilwe Net Families!!!

Another amazing day in wonderful South Africa!!

Enjoy the warmth…!

Dana

July 2007 Day two

2008-10-06T22:16:00.001-04:00

Day Two…feels like I never left!

Today is one of the best days of any trip to South Africa…spending time with the women and children of Nkosi’s Haven. What a remarkable place, what lovely children, what a real struggle they live through with such tenacity, love and generousity of spirit. Over 60 children, 8 mothers and four staff members all struggling together to make life work…make gains in retaining their health, make education of utmost importance, make improvements in their relationships with one another and their families….all this work happening in such a tumultuous environment. Never ceasing construction projects, the constant laughter, shouts and arguments of children playing jump rope or marbles or stack the chairs as high as they can go without falling on your head…all that vital life wrapped around the fact that everyone there struggles in one way or another with a deadly virus.

I spent a few hours with the staff of Nkosi’s Haven, incredible women who have given their careers (and they might say their sanity!) over to the care of these families. I was given lots of good information that I can’t wait to share with you…the in’s and out’s of dating, the words they counsel the children with about sex and relationships, and more insight into the rules and structure of their program for our Net Buddies.

Then I spent some time with the newest addition to the Infinite Family staff, our Net Fundi, Christina. This is her first ever job and it is a lot for her to learn…so we are working with Christina to help her prioritize and stick with her responsibilities. Your encouragement and understanding will also be welcome. One of the reasons we chose Christina for this job is because of her complete understanding of the importance of having her Net Family, Liz DeVito, in her life. Christina’s eyes filled with tears as she acknowledged the depth of her gratitude for Liz’s role in her life, and her desire to give the other Net Buddies the same gift of love, understanding and hope by helping to facilitate your relationships with your Net Buddies.

And then, it was out to the courtyard and street to hang out with all your lovely Net Buddies. So many giant hugs and excited squeals of delight! So many stories to tell and laughter. They adore you guys!!! They might not always show it on camera…but these kids are absolutely gaga about you! So, I get to remark over haircuts, inches grown and new attitudes. I am a blessed person indeed.

Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to take Infinite Family to new programs and new children. Today, I also spoke with three new NGO partners who are all completely captivated by the idea that you have helped bring to fruition…the idea, the concept, that people separated by an ocean don’t have to be separated at all!

And my goodness…I’m freezing down here! Not complaining…but South Africa does get COLD!!!

And as they say in these parts…Go Well!

Dana

July 2007

2008-10-06T22:15:00.001-04:00

Hi Everyone!

Well, when you think about what we do...connecting these lovely young people with you wonderful adults in the US...it is pretty amazing. And more amazing still once you recognize how very tneuous our technology links really are. Suffice it to say that my first waking hours...all 8 of them were spent running all over Johannesburg with my wonderful driver Lawrence, trying to find a phone that would work and internet access. And after all that time...what I have been able to cobble together is a broken antennae duct taped to my wireless card, and the antennae precariously balanced on top of a bowl of gerber daisiies. Oh and did I mention that there is a table balanced on two legs holding my laptop plug into the outlet adapter??? And I've had to write this three times because I keep losing my internet connection?? Yes, Micael, I know...a word doc first...but I'm in such a hurry!!

I did get to spend a few moments in the nursery at TLC...a never ending stream of beautiful and tiny abandonded babies flow into their loving arms. The Love of Christ Ministries (TLC) is where Amy and my sons spent the first year of their lives. And what a difference their love has made in all of our little guys' beginnings. It is so hard to put these little ones down. So easy to imagine bringing another little smiling boy into my life...but!!! Back to business!!!

So, Wednesday I am off to Nkosi's Haven. Yes, I will take tons of photos!!!! I will give the children there your love and hugs...lucky me!!

Enough from chilly Jo'burg...before I lose my connection a fourth time and end up pulling out all my hair!

With thanks for all you do!

Dana

2008-10-06T22:14:00.001-04:00

A week in Johannesburg, not in the large and beautiful homes surrounded by blooming bougainvilla or the purple Jacaranda, but in the tin-roofed buildings that house the hope of the very poor. We hugged child after shy child. We held the littlest ones in our arms. We touched the lives of people affected by the worst the world has to offer. And yet, we laughed, we were moved to tears, we were humbled by the gratitude of these children who have so little but who are thankful for so much.
You are a vital part of what they are thankful for…and so we extend to you their arms, smiles, warm, shy eyes and grateful hearts…for it is what you do each and every week that makes them so ready to extend themselves to us.

Thank You!

Dana

2008-10-06T22:03:00.003-04:00

Refilwe is located almost an hour south of Johannesburg. In the four months since we were there last, there have been so many changes and improvements, we barely recognized the place! Along with the improvements was a brand-spanking new computer lab! Painted murals adorned the wall with quotes from Einstein, Mother Theresa and John Lennon! TWELVE! NEW! COMPUTERS!!!! In addition, there were actually windows that opened, so the advantage of having a breeze during this heat-wave gave new life to our wilted selves!

Although the internet connection was incredibly slow, we were able to train the two staff people who will be working with us and the new Net Buddies at Refilwe. Then, after a lunch (eaten off Frisbees), we were able to work with half of the children helping them brush up on their computer skills.

During lunch, Jaco Van Schalkwyk, the Director of Refilwe, filled us in on all the plans that he has for the future and some of the disturbing facts that are a reality in the area. One of the things he shared was that the HIV infection rate is over 50%. Devastating information, especially when you look around at all the children who could be orphaned in the wake of this still-spreading disease.

And speaking about these children we are meeting on a daily basis, we have to say that they are nothing short of amazing. Just the fact that the children remembered both their username and passwords after 4 months of absence from the computers is pretty amazing.

How many of us could do that?

Sure, a lot of people would say that it’s an age thing, but what really makes us happy is that the children really like the computers and think that they are important to them from the first time they hit the keyboard.

We are headed into the last few days of our time here…so we are squeezing in the final site visits, meetings and trainings. We’re trying very hard to get all the right papers signed in all the proper places and leave the headsets here and the posters there, and on and on and on! So, a crazy schedule has gotten even fuller.

We hope to squeeze in one more missive from SA before we leave. Until then, we’ll be enjoying the beauty of the Jacaranda trees and their purple blossoms as we shuttle from place to place.

As they say around here…

Go well!

Dana