Dying Empty....Revisted

Self-sacrifice. Humility. Gratitude. Strength. Character. Hope. These are some of the ingredients that make up the heroes of the orphan crisis in South Africa.

Gab’sile Khoza, founder and director of Siyagibisa in Tembisa township, holds court today. She expounds with great pride on the accomplishments of the children in her care. The thief that turned assistant. The shy, hesitant boy who emerges from life in a shack to become a confident and calm young man. Gab’sile Khoza tells us she wants to die empty.

We stop her. What does that mean, to die empty?

To die empty is to take all the wisdom, love, spirit, courage, hope and ability that is planted within us and to give it all away before we die. Gab’sile points to her womb and then fans her fingers out as if spreading seeds upon fertile ground. I want to die empty, she says again.

Tony Gloria, I believe, is living to die empty

With barely enough space in this tiny corner of a four room Soweto house to maneuver from door to closet, we were ushered into Tony Gloria’s little piece of heaven…her bedroom. Her heaven is a mattress on the floor with three pillows and three small stuffed dolls. That bed is shared and treasured by Tony, her daughter and her 15 year old granddaughter. They claim it as their treasure. They count themselves lucky, blessed, fortunate. That bed is all that is left of personal space for them. The other three rooms of that small Soweto house are all given over to the feeding, care and nurture of over 400 children who may not have parents, enough food to eat or much hope for their future. Tony Gloria is happy to plant her seeds of hope. She fans her fingers and lets fall the fertile seeds of her strength, character and hope. Tony Gloria is living to die empty.

Dying empty. A phrase of hope, a manner of living life, a goal, a mantra.

And though it may sound strange, I wish that all of us from Infinite Family might die empty. We thank you for fanning your fingers and letting your seeds of hope fall on fertile ground.

NOTE! This blog post was originally written during a October 2008 trip to SAfrica. I reposted because Infinite Family has exciting news! In October of this year, Infinite Family is opening a new site in South Africa! Specifically, we will be starting a partnership with Tony Gloria at Tsogang Sechaba. Since opening in 1999, Tony’s mission has grown from carrying meals in a wheelbarrow to children at the local school to today, where she feeds over 700 HIV/AIDS affected children 2 hot meals each day as well as providing them with psychological & educational support. Tony first heard about Infinite Family 2 years ago and has worked tirelessly to create a computer lab for the children of Soweto. In October, we will be putting the first children from Tsogang Sechaba in front of the computers. Needless to say, EVERYONE is very excited!

And so…now, more than ever…we need NEW MENTORS!!!

To meet the initial need at Tsogang Sechaba, we need 30 mentors to be trained by the end of October. We have training classes ready to go with plenty of room in each of them. Our first training starts on August 24th. The next training begins September 21st. We even have one starting October 19th! And don’t forget…trainings are all online!

HOW CAN YOU HELP?? We are asking each of you to consider becoming a mentor with Infinite Family. Or to tell someone who you think will be interested about Infinite Family's mission. Tell them about Tsogang Sechaba. Share this blog post with them. Everyone's participation is vitally important as we open this first Infinite Family site in Soweto.

Of course, we will continue to need more mentors as the site expands to include more and more eager children as Net Buddies. So, if this fall isn’t good…we’ve got classes year round!

Thank you for all you do…and thank you for spreading the word about Infinite Family!

The beauty of remoteness...

Ah, yes! The beauty of a remote desert island. The barren beauty of a desert sunset. Lonely. Uncluttered. Still. All adjectives brought to mind by the word "remote".

But now put the word 'remote' in another context. As in "working remotely". Somehow, the barren beauty of a desert...uncluttered, lonely, wide open...can't "remotely" describe what it is like to work from home.

Right now, I am sitting in a room that is about 8x6. My co-worker, Shannon Mischler's comment upon entering my little office was "Whoa! Think you could get anything else in here??" A desk, 2 office chairs, filing cabinet, computer armoire, & a storage cabinet make the space compact & cozy!

Separating all this from the 2nd floor hallway is an accordion door. Not exactly soundproof...so I can hear my daughter singing in the shower which is less than 4 feet from my chair.

Within the last hour, my son has come in to ask several questions about his "summer school" worksheets, his pokemon cards, his bakugan & to announce for about the millionth time this summer that he is bored.

So, you might wonder, how do I accomplish ANYTHING in all the confusion?

Well, today, I've plowed through most of the "To-Do" list. And quite honestly, I'm not feeling stressed or very interrupted at all!

One of the recent blogs I read on Toilet Paper Entrepeneur (Definitely worth checking out: www.toiletpaperentrepreneur.com) was entitled "155 Ways How To Work At Home Without Distraction". Quite a few of them revolved around not turning on the television or abandoning ship by fleeing to your local coffee shop. There were lots of practical suggestions -- someone even suggested working in bed!

I think one of the keys to working at home (and to just about everything else in life) is setting everyone's expectations appropriately. My kids know that what I do is important to me & important to the children Infinite Family serves in South Africa. They also understand that I earn our living with my work. So they respect my work time & work space...most of the time.

I also set my expectations for their behavior as clearly as possible. No fighting, no screaming & no rollerblades in the living room. And they respect the rules of behavior...most of the time.

I also have to have realistic expectations for myself. I am going to be interrupted. I am going to be distracted. I should not let myself get stressed out or turn into an obsessive over the minutes taken away with answering homework questions or admiring the "Moonlight Sonata" my daughter labored so hard to master this summer. And I honor those distractions the best I can...most of the time.

I also know that we who work at home actually are generally very focused & productive. I've worked in an office where I had many colleagues to chat with. I had a long walk to the copier room. I had to wait on tech support to fix my computer. Now, working from home, I even have fewer time-sucking meetings because people are much less apt to "meet" when it involves meeting on the phone. To put it bluntly, I get much more done working remotely than I ever did in an office!

Expectations & Balance. The ingredients that make most of life much easier.

Having shared my opinion, I now ask you to excuse me while I head downstairs & conduct a brief science experiment with my son.

The beauty of working remotely!