Sunday, October 19, 2008

Become part of the great whole...


A good friend of mine read my latest blog and commented, “My reaction, and probably that of most of your readers, is what can we do to give these children so talented with words and a keyboard some hope and a viable future?”

That is a great question. And one I would like to answer by introducing you to Gail, one of Infinite Family’s wonderful volunteer mentors.

This week, Gail wrote the following letter to the editor of her local paper:
“"It's all about me" is a slogan that reflects our current culture. This focus on ourselves and our need to have the biggest and the best has put our country into an economic crisis. It is time to rethink our priorities.

I have learned many wonderful things from a young woman I mentor in South Africa through Infinite Family. She lives in a shelter and washes her clothes in a tub in the yard. One of her greatest delights is taking food to "the poor." By our standards, she herself would be considered poor but her standards are different. Her life is rich because she focuses on what she has, not on what she doesn't have. It is time for us to do the same.”

Gail continues on to talk about her choice in the upcoming presidential election.

So, what difference does this letter make? I think what Gail is showing us is a full circle, fully integrated experience that can result from plunging bravely in to do whatever we can to try to impact the world’s greatest hurts. Let me explain:

First, Gail got involved. She chose a way for herself to make a difference in the world…in the lives of the vulnerable, often orphaned, and impoverished children of South Africa.

Second, Gail shared her experience. She educates others by sharing what she has learned, describing what she has witnessed and encouraging others to get involved.
Third, Gail is applying what she is learning from the child who washes her clothes in a tub to her own situation. Gail is being inspired to examine her own life, patterns of consumption and view of the world and make changes. A sort of “live simply so others can simply live” experience.

And lastly, Gail is using what she has experienced to inform how she engages the larger world. She is writing to the paper. She is voting and she is keeping her elected officials informed of her priorities.

Now, one might say, “Good for Gail. What an admirable person!” and then leave it at that. But I say, if each one of us were to follow Gail’s lead, just imagine how powerful our collective experience would be?

If each of us found a way to involve ourselves, open ourselves and learn. If each of us plunged in and shared our experience and encouraged others to join us. If each of us were to do our small part, all our small parts would become part of a great whole.

Never underestimate the power of a single person.

These children are waiting for mentors. We need caring, adventurous adults who will take 30 minutes a week to mentor a child. You can harness the power of a single person and use it to make a huge difference in the life of that child.

You can become part of that great whole. Become part of Infinite Family.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The girls...


And what is more tragic than the boys of South Africa? Only the girls.

Oh my. The reed thin, bright eyed 12 year old girl who repeatedly stokes the leg of our 35 year old male staff member and asks him if he is married. E. who introduces herself on her blog with the story of her sexual abuse. F. who stiffens and pulls away as I place my hands on her shoulders. M. who writes me an email out of desperation, scared witless by her father’s threats that he will beat her with a club. And he does.

On “graduation” day, when we give the children a certificate of achievement for participating in Infinite Family’s training, we ask if any one would like to explain to the parents who come for the occasion, what IF is about. Several boys stand up to give speeches. No girls. I encourage the girls, looking directly at the most confident of them…with no response. One girl runs out into the courtyard, too embarrassed by the invitation to even stay in the room with her fellow students.

Gail Johnson, the Executive Director of Nkosi’s Haven, explains that only one third of the rapes committed in South Africa are ever actually reported. Therefore it is impossible to know if the estimated 250,000 that occur each year are an under-reporting or not.

The women bear the abuse, they bear the children and they bear the burden of providing for their families.

I have no poetry or analogies that can change these facts. They are heart-wrenching, sickening, depressing.

We who can, must guide these girls to a better future. We who care, must be there to help heal, to listen, to witness their pain. Many of these girls have never met a woman who wasn’t abused. Many of these girls accept this painful path as the only possibility for their future. We know another way. We must share it.

So, share. Share your vision. Share your hope. Share yourself.

Their gift is you.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Waiting for the Rains

Waiting for the rains. The whole of Johannesburg has been waiting for the rains. They should have started by now. October is the month for the rains to begin…but nothing comes. Barely a cloud graces the sky. We move slowly as the unrelenting sun beats down on us. It is so hot. So very scorchingly hot. The ground is baked brown, the grasses are stubble. We hear that the rains have come to Cape Town and Durban, but Johannesburg still waits.

Then tonight, as I sit working, I hear a rumble. Is someone moving furniture? Or is it thunder? I move outside to listen. The tell-tale flash of lightening splits the sky. The thunder grows more ominous. The first fat drops of rain raise the scent of dust as they hit the thirsty soil. I wait for the deluge, for the real rain to drench me as I stand expectantly with my face lifted toward the roiling clouds.

But nothing happens. The thunder dies away. The lightening disappears. The dust remains. The drops of rain evaporate without a trace.

Waiting for change. The whole of South Africa has been waiting for change. The people think that the changes should have occurred by now…for it has been a decade since independence…but it is too little, too late. There are new cement block homes built in the outskirts of Alexandra, but they are far out numbered by homes fashioned from tin and wire. There is freedom of movement, but not freedom from prejudice. There are more opportunities, but in a country where 30% is a passing grade in school, not enough people are adequately prepared to take advantage of those opportunities.

And so, we hear the thunder roar. Mbeki steps down from the presidency. The ANC threatens to split into two parties. Zuma, the heir apparent to the presidency, threatens violence against those who would oppose his control. The lightening of xenophobia rips across the land, leaving many innocent dead. There is roiling anger which rumbles through the townships as the frustration mounts. Change comes in small drops, not enough to satisfy the parched throats of those who hunger and thirst for justice.

We still have confidence that the rains will come eventually, but the changes? Will they come, too?

The children hope for the future. They sit before me and exude hope for their futures. I am surrounded by aspiring engineers, social workers and entrepreneurs who believe in the opportunities that await them. These children are not bitter about their government. They speak with pride about their country. When I ask the children what makes South Africa special they use words like, freedom, culture, opportunity, diversity. As I watch these talented and beautiful children learn new skills, open up to new ideas and adventurously plunge forward into the world of Infinite Family, I wonder…when does all this hopefulness become bitterness? What makes the optimism wilt away?

But like the rains, we must water their hope and nourish their optimism. We must be the rain that feeds their parched souls as they hunger for attention, advice and affirmation. For without the rain of love that we can offer, there will be a drought of hope in this land of South Africa.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Didn’t a wise South African man named Ghandi say that? Proud culture. Proud history. Bright future?

Hoping with you...and waiting for the rains!

Dana

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Boys of South Africa

We dodge down the streets listening to L., our driver, on the way to Alexandra. We swerve around vendors hawking their wares, the women and children palms out and waiting for spare change, the honking mini-van taxis, the pedestrians pouring off the sidewalks and the uniformed children on the way to school. L. is telling us his story. The story of a single man in South Africa, working in a factory to support his two small daughters, barely putting enough food on the table and watching the men around him taking the easy way out...surrendering themselves to alcohol, dangerous schemes and a licentious life.

L. is railing against his country men. He declares them unwilling to work. Unable to accept that success comes from persistence and incredible effort. He says the men of his country want only a handout...not a hand up.

I ask L., as we crawl past the shacks of Alexandra, alongside the entrepreneurial businesses that struggle to stay upright beneath the press of homes that surround them, "Why? Why have the men of South Africa so totally given up on themselves and their futures?

His answer is unsatisfying. He believes it is "the nature of the men of South Africa." What a fatalistic sentence to inherit along with the chromosome that determines gender!

But L. is right...no one can deny his perspective is not fueled by experience and truth. The residue of apartheid is not just seen in the incredible inequity between the desperate poor and the very wealthy. The residue of apartheid is seen in the fragile family structures shaken to their roots by the forced separation of parents from one another and parents from their children. The psychological residue of apartheid, a system that took away freedom of movement, freedom of choice and freedom of self-determination, will take at least a generation to recover from.

And then, after wending our way through the densely packed streets of Alexandra, we arrive at Realogile High School to train some new Net Buddies. We crowd into a small room partitioned off on one end of a baking hot container, full of children all eager to learn more about Infinite Family.

In the computer room, 2 sixteen year old boys, Sizwe and Daddy, are eager to start. Their fingers jump swiftly over the keyboards, filling their profiles and writing emails. They are keen and clever with the computers. Later, in the container room with me, Daddy's clear, concise, intelligent prose blows me away. I tell him he is born to be a lawyer! He laughs with delight!

I want to go and fetch L.. I want him to witness the shining eyes and eager spirits of these boys. These boys who are longing for the right man to guide them...to show them the way...to keep from the crooked path and help them to realize their dreams for the future.

What Daddy needs, what Sizwe needs, what every young boy and girl needs is attention. A concerned, invested, admiring adult to be there...to believe in them...to encourage and support them. The stranglehold of apartheid does not have to claim these children, too. We are seeing the difference. Boys and girls thinking beyond matric and focusing on a future they would not have believed within their grasp, but because of the mentors of Infinite Family, they are becoming the children of hope...the leaders of tomorrow.

Until tomorrow...

Dana

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Seventh Street Guesthouse Perspective

Seventh Street Guest House….

I am so aware of Shannon’s “first day” perspective on South Africa. The nice homes, the big city lights, the sophisticated billboards…all the glam of Johannesburg. It looks so lovely and modern….so European…so expected, that Shannon proclaims a lack of culture shock.

As we walk from the guesthouse, past the homes with the modern sculptures and backyard pools…we pass a walkway lined with the graceful and fragrant blossoms of the bougainvillea. I reach out to trace the petals of a bloom and find just beneath the blossoms the geometrical outline of gleaming razor wire.

The danger beneath the beauty.

So much of South Africa is beautiful. The rich, cultural heritage. The modern, booming economy. The lovely, sophisticated cities. The vibrant art and intricate history. But running just beneath the surface is fear and danger.

Fear engendered from living in a country of have’s and desperate have-nots. Fear that comes from promises made to right old injustices that haven’t been realized rapidly enough. Fear that grows out of political turmoil in a nascent democracy. Fear that is heard and felt and realized in home after home in every neighborhood throughout South Africa.

One of the communities where our net buddies live is about to be wiped out. M., S. and N. all live in an informal settlement that is being demolished in the near future. Where will they go? What will they do? When will it happen? No one has the answers. But the simple fact that these children will have their homes bulldozed by entrepreneurs bent on building a golf course is not to be questioned. These children live in fear of their future.

Today, M. and J. had an open house. They have sold their businesses and are leaving the country. They are moving themselves and their livelihoods to Vancouver. They are tired of living in fear. They are through with wondering when they will be attacked or car-jacked. They are done with wondering when the next awful, horrendous thing will happen in their country. This family is done living in fear of their future.

October in South Africa; the jacarandas are in bloom and the sun shines every day. We bask in the warmth of the sun and revel in the gracious hospitality of our Seventh Street Guesthouse proprietors. Yet we look over our shoulders as the bougainvillea graze over our fingertips. We are cautious. We are wary. We have seen the razor wire and the appraising glances. We read the headlines and know the risks. Yet we still have hope for South Africa’s future and that is why we are here.

Infinite Family brings hope to South Africa, one idealistic adult at a time. We bring you, with your faith and your concern, your tender love and nurture, to these children who live in a world of impermanence and fear.

One of our Net Families recently said, “Relationships can change the world.” We believe that. You believe that. Your Net Buddies believe that. That is why we all set aside a half hour each week to meet face to face. To prioritize a time to talk. To use our time, the biggest commodity of all, to invest in a relationship. A relationship with a child who lives in fear, whose future is uncertain, who has limited resources and few adults to guide them. Infinite Family relationships CAN change the world…the world of the children of Nkosi’s Haven, Refilwe and Alexandra.

You inspire us. You inspire your Net Buddies. You do indeed change the world….one relationship at a time.

Tomorrow – Shannon’s second day perspective…

Stay well!
Dana

Monday, October 6, 2008

Dying Empty, October 2007, Day 8

Self-sacrifice. Humility. Gratitude. Strength. Character. Hope. These are some of the ingredients that make up the heroes of the orphan crisis in South Africa.

Gab’sile Khoza, founder and director of Siyagibisa in Tembisa township, holds court today. She expounds with great pride on the accomplishments of the children in her care. The thief that turned assistant. The shy, hesitant boy who emerges from life in a shack to become a confident and calm young man. Gab’sile Khoza tells us she wants to die empty.

We stop her. What does that mean, to die empty?

To die empty is to take all the wisdom, love, spirit, courage, hope and ability that is planted within us and to give it all away before we die. Gab’sile points to her womb and then fans her fingers out as if spreading seeds upon fertile ground. I want to die empty, she says again.

Tony Gloria, I believe, is living to die empty

With barely enough space in this tiny corner of a four room Soweto house to maneuver from door to closet, we were ushered into Tony Gloria’s little piece of heaven…her bedroom. Her heaven is a mattress on the floor with three pillows and three small stuffed dolls. That bed is shared and treasured by Tony, her daughter and her 15 year old granddaughter. They claim it as their treasure. They count themselves lucky, blessed, fortunate. That bed is all that is left of personal space for them. The other three rooms of that small Soweto house are all given over to the feeding, care and nurture of over 400 children who may not have parents, enough food to eat or much hope for their future. Tony Gloria is happy to plant her seeds of hope. She fans her fingers and lets fall the fertile seeds of her strength, character and hope. Tony Gloria is living to die empty.

Dying empty. A phrase of hope, a manner of living life, a goal, a mantra.

And though it may sound strange, I wish that all of us from Infinite Family might die empty. We thank you for fanning your fingers and letting your seeds of hope fall on fertile ground.

Dana

Cha-Cha in the Garden, October 2007, Day 7

Well, we finally made it to Nkosi’s Haven. It always feels like coming home. It is amazing to think that these wonderful children were our very first Net Buddies…the very first in the world, to be exact! As we spend time with your beautiful buddies, it strikes me how much you’ve seen them change. You’ve watched their hair styles change, their computer confidence grow and their English blossom. You’ve learned their secret hurts and hopes. You’ve grumbled over frozen vc’s and stumbled over language differences together. You have heard about their days at school, their struggles with friends and maybe struggled with them yourself. You’ve done everything but touch them.

So today, they preformed for us. Dancing in the garden. Cha-cha, rhumba and jive blared from the boombox as a brick patchwork patio filled with children. And then they swayed and twirled, skirts swirling and toes pointing. Oh, what a sight. The joyous freedom of movement set to song.

And all I could think was how you’ve never seen your Net Buddies move…you’ve only seen them set into a small box on a computer screen. And yet, with just that much of them, you have created an amazing bond. A magical bond. Face to face, but never touching. Heads and shoulders, but never legs and arms. You’ve embraced them nonetheless. An embrace so enduring and so humbling.

So, I watched your Net Buddies dance today. They were beautiful.

You’re beautiful, too.

We thank you for what you do. And someday, we hope you, too, will see them dance.

Dana

Lessons Learned! Oct. 2007, Day 4

So, we learn our lesson from Saturday, right? We change the time from 8am and decide to go for a reasonable 9:00 am on Sunday. Especially after the vicious thunderstorm that boomed and roared for over 3 hours on Saturday night, all we could think was that children living precariously on a hillside in the most temporary of structures would have had a really bad night. So, when we show up a bit late on Sunday morning, we don’t really have very high expectations of anyone being on time.

SURPRISE! Instead of an empty computer room, or even one with the anticipated seven children from the squatter camps, what we have is a room crowded with twenty kids! Whoa. Regroup. Rethink. Act fast. Should we send half of them home? Not a chance. They were there, they were eager, and even though we really expected just 13 kids over the course of the next four days…twenty at once? Hey, go for it.

Micael triple teamed our Net Buddies-in-training on the five computers. He had our intrepid Noah staff , Nomaza and Melidah, as well as our two Net Fundi’s Piet and Christina, zipping from computer screen to computer screen…AND he had no lights. Oh well. Dark room, bright screens? That’s enough light to get by with…and as he said ¾’s of the way through on Monday, it felt “kind of cozy”, once you got used to it.

We found a few children who stood out as bright and shining stars. Winnie memorized her ORIGINAL password (remember the rocket code we handed out to you at the training??) and was logging on for her videoconference without any coaching at all. Siyanbonga and Mtuseni concluded that the American process of bankrolling elections was similar to auctioning our candidates to the highest bidder. Clifford couldn’t believe that a country as rich as ours could have a problem such as homelessness and not have the ability to solve it.

Tuesday is our last day at Refilwe. We will be matching the most recently trained Refilwe kids with our newest trained Net Families from Pittsburgh. What fun! And an added bonus...we now have a scanner at Refilwe! Ask the kids to scan in drawings, pictures and homework. Just hope the scanner doesn't bring the entire electrical system in the computer room to it's knees!

So, until tomorrow…when of course, we will continue to learn more lessons!

Best to the best!

Dana

Isn't it Saturday and aren't we in Africa? October 2007, Day 3

Our first day at Refilwe, Jaco with a completely deadpan face, said to us as we were detailing the complexity and timing of our schedule,“did you forget you were in Africa?”
Well, Saturday’s schedule called for an 8am start time. This necessitated bringing 20 children from the hive-like streets of Alexandra, herding them onto a bus and driving for almost an hour. What in heaven’s name were we thinking? Whose brain-baby was that? (Ahem, Micael?)

So, anyhow, everyone eventually showed up by 9:30…eager, well-rested and excited. Even though it was their day off, the adult staff of Noah, who had already survived two days of training with us, doggedly stood behind the children at the keyboards. Goodwill, Nomaza and Melidah patiently guided our future Net Buddies as they hunted and pecked their way through emails, typing games (thanks Shannon!) and webcam chats.

By the end of the day, all the children sat crowded into the little library for our graduation ceremony. After holding up the certificates and showing them the Infinite Family watches, I looked down at Mokodi to see tears streaming down her face even though she was smiling ear to ear. I knelt down and while wiping the tears, asked her why she was crying…and all she could do was laugh and hold onto my skirt.

The children cheered and clapped for one another as each of them came forward to accept their certificate proclaiming them to be official IF Net Buddies and accomplished users of the Ezomndeni Net.
After many photos and hugs, the children climbed aboard their bus and headed back home. But we know, that even though there are computers purchased and a plan in place for installation, we still don’t have enough Net Families for all these children.

Saturday, in your town. Wondering how you’ll get the errands run, the soccer games accomplished and still get the laundry done. Saturday in Africa. Children standing outside a shipping container, looking with longing at a computer screen, a webcam and another child, chatting and laughing with their Net Family.

How about it? A half an hour once or twice a week? It just can’t be that hard to schedule…after all we’re Americans…the ones who schedule 8am trainings for African children from shanty towns!

Pass it on! We’re ready for you!

Dana

The Original Vision -- October 2007 Day Two

You know all the promotional materials you see for IF that have us, Micael or Amy or I, training children on the computer? Well, that definitely has not been the original vision of what we hoped to achieve. What we hoped was that one day, we would have the adults who work with and look like the children of Infinite Family, training the children how to use the address book, teaching the difference between double and single clicking with a mouse, and showing them how to determine if the sound is working in their videoconferences. Well, today, we got one step closer to our dream.

For the last two days we have been training the staff of Noah and Refilwe – hugely impressive, dedicated, bright and inspiring people – some of them using computers for the very first time. As all of us know, when beginning the journey of familiarizing yourself with a keyboard, tool bars and all the various and sundry icons that populate any page on a computer, it can be overwhelming and intimidating. But after just six hours of training, with several of the staff skipping lunch to practice, we had four extra trainers when the children of Realogile showed up after lunch to begin their journey as new learners of technology.

Melidah hovered over the shoulder of Sibusisu guiding him as he typed in his password. Nomaza pointed out the choices on the toolbar to Malao. Goodwill made sure that Judith had the chat function “down” in the videoconference corner. Micael and I stood in awe as we watched our dream become a reality.

And then, in the library, where our fledgling Net Buddies learned more about the particulars of how being a Net Buddy works, they shared songs and dances, argued over who knew more about HIV, and encouraged each other with applause as they shyly or boldly shared what made them special.

One of their tasks was to create something that helped us understand what made their country of South Africa special. Colored pencil sketches of beaches and huts emerged from the white paper. Poems enwreathed with flowers and birds blossomed from the children’s creative imaginations. Songs of independence and pride filled the room.

I too shared what made South Africa special to me. I told these lovely, spirited, squirming and curious children that the greatest gift South Africa had to offer the world was them…all of them, sitting across from me, beaming with pride.

We are very fortunate to share in the very best of South Africa…our wonderful Net Buddies.

I think we all agree!

Go Well…as they say in these parts!

Dana

What happens next? October 2007 Day 1

Today was rainy and cool, like much of today where you are, we understand. Spring and fall…cousins headed in two different directions!
The staff of NOAH (Nurturing Orphans of AIDS for Humanity www.noahorphans.org.za) came to Refilwe today to learn more about the Infinite Family program. They listened attentively and nodded appreciatively in all the right places…and then they began to ask very insightful questions. “What will happen to these children and families when they grow very close to one another?” “What will happen when the children grow older and move on? Will the relationships end?”

These are questions we can not answer. The answers lie ahead of us.

We walked through an “informal settlement” today called Joe Slovo after one of the anti-apartheid movements freedom fighters. Joe Slovo is a very small community of corrugated tin one room shacks which can house up to 8 people. Roofs are held in place by stones hanging down from the eaves, tree limbs and an odd assortment of broken big wheels, doll houses and old tires placed strategically to keep everything from blowing away. After the torrential rain we experienced just a few hours earlier, we wondered at how these dirt floor shanties set into a hillside could have possibly stayed in place. Our next group of 15 children all live in these neat and tidy homes. No electricity, no heat and little hope for a better life, these children will be introduced to the love of strangers almost 8000 miles away.

How will these relationships affect these children’s lives? How will the world outside of their rough, rural experience impact how they see themselves and their chances for a happier future?

These are questions we can not answer. The answers lie ahead of us.

And the answers have a lot to do with you.

We are ever grateful and thankful for your willingness to walk the road with us, ask the questions with us and live into the answers with us.

And with that gratitude, we close….

Dana

Dancing with Orphans -- July 2007 Last day

My last day here, I wake up to a grey sky...such a strange thing in Jo'burg! My last few days have been full of so many experiences...too many to put into this space without being late for my plane!

But a few images for you...

Sitting in the home of a family that had lost 6 people to HIV/AIDS within the last 18 months....wanting to cry at the story of one adult not taking ARV's so that she can keep her viral load low enough to continue to get the stipend they give people with HIV. Choosing between food and health...sacrificing health for the sustenance of her family.

Alicia Keyes on a celebrity pit-stop, asked a group of orphaned children, "who is your hero?" As the children around her named Oprah, Usher and others, one teenage girl who had lost both her parents within a year's time turned to another orphaned child and said, "you are my hero...you show me the way to go on!"

And then, last night, at a fundraising dinner for TLC, I danced in a crowd of 20 children. All these little ones had started out as tiny little beings left in doorways, dustbins and public toilets...to end up here on a dance floor...filled with the joy of the music and staying up way too late...all blessed with life and love and enough to eat. It is possible to make their harsh start take a back seat to the possibilities of a wonderful future.

You are part of making that joy and that hope crowd out the sadness and despair. You, too, are dancing with orphans!

See you on the other side of the ocean very soon!

With gratitude for all you do~

Dana

Dusty Shoes at the Johannesburg Stock Exchange -- July 2007 Day 10

Today, I went from the board room of Investec, to the dusty shacks of Alexandra...one of the poorest townships and the most dangerous places in all of South Africa. Dressed for the board room in heels and skirt, I bumped and rocked through the pitted, narrow streets of Alex, past tin shacks, outdoor barbershops and people butchering meat right on the sidewalk in the warm afternoon sun. I was in Alex to visit the next site we are working on developing with NOAH, one of our NGO partners (www.noah.org.za), at a school called Realogile. I had arranged to bring four people from Bombardier, our newest corporate partner, to the site to catch the vision of what we are doing...and to help elicit their support to overcome the challenges we face in making this happen in the face of crime, limited public services and over-crowded conditions. As these four people who work less than 15 minutes away in their secure and comfortable offices experienced Alex for the very first time, they asked me to reflect on whether poverty was worse in South Africa, or in any of the other African countries I had visited. I said, a shack is a shack, a malnourished, undereducated child is the same wherever you go, but the disparities of wealth and poverty are so much more stark in South Africa than in any other country I've visited.

And then, from Alex, with the dust still coating my heels, I walked into the beautiful and opulent offices of the Johannesburg Stock Exchange. Yes, disparity. Vast disparity. But the people who sit in these offices, who work for these multimillion dollar companies are good people...good people willing to take time out of their days and their lives to visit Alex, listen to the story of your work with orphaned children, and be inspired and moved by our efforts and therefore motivated to make further attempts of their own. They too are willing to face the pain and work to lessen the divide, the stark disparities of their world.

The dust will remain embedded in my shoes for a long time...and the memories even longer.

Tomorrow it is back to Soweto and then off to Thembisa. I end the day with a visit to the head of the Department of Community Development for the City of Johannesburg who I hope will give us the go-ahead to begin working with the Techno Centers. Another great day doing wonderful work!

Lucky me!

Dana

July 2007 Day 9

The reality of life in South Africa is graveyards established in 2002 filling up before the end of 2006. The stunning view of acres of gravesites literally shoulder to shoulder and head to toe withyoung people dying before their time moved me to choke back tears as we sped past. It is so easy, as I move amoung the bustling life of the city, the vibrancy of the children to miss the death...to not see it hidden just barely out of view.

And then to be swarmed by the children...the orphaned children of the Refilwe community...125 children under the age of 5....is to see the grief of those graves. To know the loss, to hear the stories...

One outreach worker told me of finding an 18 month old clinging to a 3 month old in a shack in a shanty town beside the body of their dead mother...alone for days. Another describes the indescribable obstacles faced by the 15 year old head of a 4 child household, the decisions he makes, the sacrifices he endures for his siblings...!

Indeed the children we work with, the children you mentor are not in such situations...anymore. The work of our NGO partners to give these children a life that is at least normal...that includes enough food, clothing to wear, decent schools and the ability to dream of a future. You are part of that. Part of helping them to dream of a future that is both rich and happy.

Thanks is a small word that comes of your large work. We all thank you. For your pioneering spirit, your willingess to reach past what is known and comfortable, your tenacity to stick it through with the shy boys and the flighty teenage girls. Without you their lives would be the poorer...and I daresay, so would all of ours.

With thanks for all you do!

And hey, spring is coming to South Africa (...did I mention it was DARN cold here??) a reminder of hope and new life for us all.

With great appreciation,

Dana

July 2008 Day 8

Imagine. Just imagine. Imagine being so compelled by the crisis and desperation of the children in your community that you moved rice, toilet paper and donated clothes into your bedroom, an office of volunteers, maize meal and files into your living room and brought a shipping container equipped with a two burner stovetop into your front yard so that you could arrange for 800 children to have two nutritious meals every day of the week. Imagine you are a woman in your late 50’s with limited resources living in Soweto named Tony Gloria and you are now imagining a woman who would do just that.
Today I spent a few hours living in the realm of imagining with Tony Gloria. She showed me the piles of bricks beside the lined up plates of food waiting for the arrival of 200 children into her garden. Those bricks are the promise of a computer center that she is building…which up until four days ago when I first met her, was supposed to be a small, private living area for her. But when Tony Gloria heard the story of Infinite Family, Tony Gloria started imagining. Tony began imagining that small L-shaped building holding 20 computers which would connect all these children of limited future to adults in the US through Infinite Family. Tony began imagining a new future for these children. A future of promise and hope and new skills.

So, let’s imagine with Tony Gloria and all the other amazing heroes we are still to meet and have the honor of assisting in this incredible journey they have undertaken to help the orphaned and vulnerable children of Soweto and Alexandria and Berea. These are amazing people who humble us with their sacrifice, their dedication and their ability to imagine.

Imagine. Just imagine~
I am!

Dana

July 2007 Day 7

Hey ho…back to Nkosi’s Haven Again!

Well, today at Nkosi’s Haven, we had three amazing kids, who a year ago, didn’t know how to navigate a keyboard, installing donated Logitech cameras, downloading scanner software from Canon online and regulating the sound so our new Sennheiser headphones sound as good as they should. All I had to do was coach, encourage and watch. AMAZING!! I even had one of the young people politely tell me that he thought I was doing something wrong when installing the cameras…! “Eh, Dana, don’t you think you should plug in the camera first?” Confidence, skills, an eagerness to learn; all keys to a better future…all emerging due to their desire to talk with and see you each week.

You never knew you were teaching computer skills, did you?

Tomorrow, it is off to Soweto and to meet with the head of the program that distributes ARV meds to HIV+ kids.
Oh, and by the way, we hope the sound will be without reverberation and echoes now and the picture will be brighter and clearer…so thank Christina, Ayanda and Keabetswe the next time you have a less frustrating vc!!!

And as they say in South Africa,

Go well!
Dana

July 2007 Days 4, 5, 6

Well, three wonderful days have gone by since last filling you all in on my travels here in South Africa. So, time to get busy!

Friday was spent visiting two new potential sites for Infinite Family expansion and having the opportunity to spread the word about Infinite Family to all the employees at Bombardier SA at the very generous invitation of their VP in charge of operations, Dave Berry.

The first site I visited was the Tomorrow Trust run by Kim Feinberg. Tomorrow Trust focuses on educational support for orphaned and vulnerable children. They help by enriching the learning opportunities for really motivated children from some of the poorest circumstances and then enabling them to be successful in college by providing life skills, academic and emotional support. This support is invaluable as these vulnerable children make the huge transition from poverty and group living situations to independence and success.

My biggest surprise of the day was walking into The Techno Centre, the most high tech and well maintained computer center I’ve ever seen in South Africa. Not only were the machines the best technologically, but there was a sound studio and video production room, too! All this is available after school for children from the squatter camp and orphanage in the neighborhood. Interestingly, the computers are not connected to the internet, because the role of the Techno Centre is to encourage creativity by providing the latest in software so that the children can create their own video games, music videos and artwork. These kids are really primed for Net Families who have a personal interest in technology! The staff there were totally jazzed about partnering with IF!

On Saturday I spent the whole day at Refilwe…! What a wonderful group of kids! I gave all of them hugs from you as well as snapped lots of photos. At the beginning of our time together I gathered all 20 children together in the computer center for a recording of The Dana Winfrey Show! The kids passed around the mic while I manned the videocamera. I invited them all to share the best and most difficult things about being a Net Buddy. Every child talked about their appreciation for you, the wonderful adults in their lives. They talked about the love they feel, the closeness and warmth of the relationship, as well as the things they have learned from their Net Families.

All of them also said that the hardest thing about being a Net Buddy was all the questions they are asked…particularly at the very beginning of the relationship. (I have heard that all Americans ask a lot of questions over here…particularly this one with the red hair!) I explained that the questions were our attempts at showing interest and being friendly. One insightful Net Buddy explained to all her peers that she was surprised by all the questions, too…but then decided that this was just the way Americans were. So, in order for her to help her Net Family feel comfortable, she brings questions for her Net Family, too!

Today was a quieter day. I finally slept more than a few hours…and then was taken to an African Market by my host, Niven Postma, the former CEO of Noah. I spent the latter part of the day holding babies at TLC, where they are terribly short of volunteers. So many HIV+ children are living fuller and longer lives due to ARV treatment, which is a wonderful thing, but there is very little hope for them to find adoptive homes. This keeps places like TLC fuller than ever as they continue to care for these lovely, bright-eyed children as well as the constant stream of abandoned newborns to which there is no end in sight.

Tomorrow it is back to Nkosi’s Haven…lucky me!!!

All the best!

Dana

July 2007 Day Three

Hello everyone!



I spent the morning at a pediatric AIDS hospice and home called Cotlands. They are an impressive organization that has been serving the needs of troubled young people for over 100 years. Today, Cotlands runs an AIDS support program for children that reaches from the Eastern Cape, to Kwa-Zulu Natal and into Soweto and Jo’burg. They reach thousands of children all suffering from HIV. As I spoke with Jackie Schoemann, the executive director, I was so impressed by the wide range of services that extend to the children and their families in the community. Through the years, their support of children left homeless due to orphaning has skyrocketed. In addition, the children who would have once died at a young age are now living into their teens because of the aggressive program to reach children with anti-retroviral medications. This has left them with a large group of residential children who live and are schooled at the Cotlands Center in Turffontein.

Residential children with not enough adults to give them plenty of adult attention?? Welcome Infinite Family! We hope that the children of Cotlands will become matched with mentors one day soon, so that little Sibongile, who is 7 years old and dependent on an oxygen tank, will have someone to sit with and quietly share her day. We hope that little Mpulo, an effervescent three year old, scarred all over his face and head from a shack fire, will eventually have someone who looks forward to seeing his lovely shining smile every week. We look forward to an adult in the US, seeing each child hold up the lovely paintings they made in the courtyard on this gorgeous winter morning. What you do has a powerful message for children who suffer as these children do.

In the afternoon, I was able to meet with the head of the Bombardier division in South Africa…excited to see them catch the vision of all that we are doing enough to take a trip out to Refilwe to meet the children there and experience the magic of vc mentoring! We’ll see you on Saturday, all you Refilwe Net Families!!!

Another amazing day in wonderful South Africa!!

Enjoy the warmth…!

Dana

July 2007 Day two

Day Two…feels like I never left!

Today is one of the best days of any trip to South Africa…spending time with the women and children of Nkosi’s Haven. What a remarkable place, what lovely children, what a real struggle they live through with such tenacity, love and generousity of spirit. Over 60 children, 8 mothers and four staff members all struggling together to make life work…make gains in retaining their health, make education of utmost importance, make improvements in their relationships with one another and their families….all this work happening in such a tumultuous environment. Never ceasing construction projects, the constant laughter, shouts and arguments of children playing jump rope or marbles or stack the chairs as high as they can go without falling on your head…all that vital life wrapped around the fact that everyone there struggles in one way or another with a deadly virus.

I spent a few hours with the staff of Nkosi’s Haven, incredible women who have given their careers (and they might say their sanity!) over to the care of these families. I was given lots of good information that I can’t wait to share with you…the in’s and out’s of dating, the words they counsel the children with about sex and relationships, and more insight into the rules and structure of their program for our Net Buddies.

Then I spent some time with the newest addition to the Infinite Family staff, our Net Fundi, Christina. This is her first ever job and it is a lot for her to learn…so we are working with Christina to help her prioritize and stick with her responsibilities. Your encouragement and understanding will also be welcome. One of the reasons we chose Christina for this job is because of her complete understanding of the importance of having her Net Family, Liz DeVito, in her life. Christina’s eyes filled with tears as she acknowledged the depth of her gratitude for Liz’s role in her life, and her desire to give the other Net Buddies the same gift of love, understanding and hope by helping to facilitate your relationships with your Net Buddies.

And then, it was out to the courtyard and street to hang out with all your lovely Net Buddies. So many giant hugs and excited squeals of delight! So many stories to tell and laughter. They adore you guys!!! They might not always show it on camera…but these kids are absolutely gaga about you! So, I get to remark over haircuts, inches grown and new attitudes. I am a blessed person indeed.

Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to take Infinite Family to new programs and new children. Today, I also spoke with three new NGO partners who are all completely captivated by the idea that you have helped bring to fruition…the idea, the concept, that people separated by an ocean don’t have to be separated at all!

And my goodness…I’m freezing down here! Not complaining…but South Africa does get COLD!!!

And as they say in these parts…Go Well!

Dana

July 2007

Hi Everyone!

Well, when you think about what we do...connecting these lovely young people with you wonderful adults in the US...it is pretty amazing. And more amazing still once you recognize how very tneuous our technology links really are. Suffice it to say that my first waking hours...all 8 of them were spent running all over Johannesburg with my wonderful driver Lawrence, trying to find a phone that would work and internet access. And after all that time...what I have been able to cobble together is a broken antennae duct taped to my wireless card, and the antennae precariously balanced on top of a bowl of gerber daisiies. Oh and did I mention that there is a table balanced on two legs holding my laptop plug into the outlet adapter??? And I've had to write this three times because I keep losing my internet connection?? Yes, Micael, I know...a word doc first...but I'm in such a hurry!!

I did get to spend a few moments in the nursery at TLC...a never ending stream of beautiful and tiny abandonded babies flow into their loving arms. The Love of Christ Ministries (TLC) is where Amy and my sons spent the first year of their lives. And what a difference their love has made in all of our little guys' beginnings. It is so hard to put these little ones down. So easy to imagine bringing another little smiling boy into my life...but!!! Back to business!!!

So, Wednesday I am off to Nkosi's Haven. Yes, I will take tons of photos!!!! I will give the children there your love and hugs...lucky me!!

Enough from chilly Jo'burg...before I lose my connection a fourth time and end up pulling out all my hair!

With thanks for all you do!

Dana
A week in Johannesburg, not in the large and beautiful homes surrounded by blooming bougainvilla or the purple Jacaranda, but in the tin-roofed buildings that house the hope of the very poor. We hugged child after shy child. We held the littlest ones in our arms. We touched the lives of people affected by the worst the world has to offer. And yet, we laughed, we were moved to tears, we were humbled by the gratitude of these children who have so little but who are thankful for so much.
You are a vital part of what they are thankful for…and so we extend to you their arms, smiles, warm, shy eyes and grateful hearts…for it is what you do each and every week that makes them so ready to extend themselves to us.

Thank You!

Dana
Refilwe is located almost an hour south of Johannesburg. In the four months since we were there last, there have been so many changes and improvements, we barely recognized the place! Along with the improvements was a brand-spanking new computer lab! Painted murals adorned the wall with quotes from Einstein, Mother Theresa and John Lennon! TWELVE! NEW! COMPUTERS!!!! In addition, there were actually windows that opened, so the advantage of having a breeze during this heat-wave gave new life to our wilted selves!

Although the internet connection was incredibly slow, we were able to train the two staff people who will be working with us and the new Net Buddies at Refilwe. Then, after a lunch (eaten off Frisbees), we were able to work with half of the children helping them brush up on their computer skills.

During lunch, Jaco Van Schalkwyk, the Director of Refilwe, filled us in on all the plans that he has for the future and some of the disturbing facts that are a reality in the area. One of the things he shared was that the HIV infection rate is over 50%. Devastating information, especially when you look around at all the children who could be orphaned in the wake of this still-spreading disease.

And speaking about these children we are meeting on a daily basis, we have to say that they are nothing short of amazing. Just the fact that the children remembered both their username and passwords after 4 months of absence from the computers is pretty amazing.

How many of us could do that?

Sure, a lot of people would say that it’s an age thing, but what really makes us happy is that the children really like the computers and think that they are important to them from the first time they hit the keyboard.

We are headed into the last few days of our time here…so we are squeezing in the final site visits, meetings and trainings. We’re trying very hard to get all the right papers signed in all the proper places and leave the headsets here and the posters there, and on and on and on! So, a crazy schedule has gotten even fuller.

We hope to squeeze in one more missive from SA before we leave. Until then, we’ll be enjoying the beauty of the Jacaranda trees and their purple blossoms as we shuttle from place to place.

As they say around here…

Go well!

Dana