Friday, January 28, 2011

The Privilege of Struggle

In Memory of Sthandiwe
When I first travelled to Nkosi’s Haven in 2006, Sthandiwe was too sick to come to the computer lab.  I became acquainted with her through the photos taped to Heather’s office wall.  A little bushy haired girl in a pink sweater.  A slight child holding a teddy bear.  A little girl who crayoned words of affection and love for Gail, Heather and the staff at the Haven.

Standiwe struggled through her short life.  Struggled with an illness that takes so many.  Struggled with the challenges of being a teenager without a direction.  Struggled to find the love she so craved as an orphaned girl who’s heart never seemed to find enough…enough attention, enough love, enough loyalty to fill her up. 
Sthandiwe struggled.  Like so many teenagers all over the world, Sthandiwe struggled.  Her hard choices and missteps were not unusual or unique. 

But Sthandiwe’s struggle ended too soon.   Today, Sthandiwe is at peace.  

Being at peace is not a goal the living should fulfill at the age of 20-anything. 

Being at peace is the absence of struggle.  And struggle is part of living.  Struggle is what we do.  Struggle is a symptom of the resilient, always-seeking human spirit.  Sthandiwe’s young soul would not let her settle.  It pushed her to seek out the answer to questions that are planted in all of us.

Who will love us?  Will we realize and use our God-given gifts?  Who will admire us for our strengths and in spite of our faults?  Where will we find fulfillment for our restless spirit?  

Sthandiwe did not get to answer those questions. 

Sthandiwe’s struggle ended too soon, before she could find the answers, fill her spirit, live into her promise.  

That is the fault of the virus, of AIDs.  Not the fault of Sthandiwe.

So, please, do not blame her struggle for the shortness of her life.  Blame the virus.  

We will miss her.  We mourn that her questions will not be answered, her gifts unrealized, her love left unfound.

Sthandiwe‘s struggle was rewarded with peace. 

Peace is the reward of the dead. 

Let us strive for the reward of the living.  Let us be grateful for the privilege to struggle and strive and live into finding our own answers for the questions planted within us.    
 And in our struggle, let us strive also for a cure.  An end to the bringer of untimely peace.  An end to HIV.

 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Lazarus Effect: New Life through a Blog

When we were designing the blog on the Ezomndeni Net, the password protected internet platform where Net Buddies and their mentors interact, we had no idea how it would be used. We were hopeful that the children would write about their lives. We were hoping they would practice their English and improve their grammar skills. We hoped that it would be a forum for exchanging ideas.

Our hopes were not only realized, but exceeded beyond our imaginings.

The children are giving us their rawest emotions, their deepest hurts, their highest hopes...their dreams.

I've shared some of the posts. I've shared some of the trust that the children are placing in the community of Infinite Family.

The words jump from the page in neon green, or rainbow fonts. They are punctuated with smiley faces.

The words are misspelled. Capitalization is ignored. The blogs stand stark and bold, quickly offered snapshots of their internal world.

We are given such a gift in these words. Amazingly tender reflections on their brothers and sisters and grandmothers. Sweeping wisdom in the span of four lines.

We are very blessed by these children. Not just us, the community of Infinite Family, but the world. What these children have to teach us from their perspective and experience of life is so profound. Life lived without a mother. Life lived in the grips of poverty and deprivation. But life still lived. Lived fully. Lived with hope. Life lived with threadbare shirts ironed crisply, symbols of their intention to succeed. Their spotless school uniforms ask with dignity that they be taken not just seriously, but demand that we see them in terms of their intentions for themselves.

And they intend BIG things. Pilots, doctors, lawyers. Social workers, actors, writers.

Their crisply ironed shirts and the well groomed hair are what they can control in their lives. It is their way to say to the world...I am. I am this boy here. This boy with the clean face and the completed homework. I am not to be defined by the hunger I experience. I am not to be defined by the virus that runs through my veins. I am who I choose to be.

And I choose life.

I choose a future.

The pain is knowing how little choice they may have.

We need to make choices available to them. The choice to live a life extended by affordable medication. The choice to be able to use their skills and talents and passions to impact their world...their families, their communities, their country.

I want these children to impact my life, my world, the future. I want these children to be the leaders of their country. I believe in these children. Passionately believe in them.

I want you to believe in them, too.

We make it easy. 30 minutes a week from the comfort of your own home. A computer, a webcam and a headset...the tools to change your life...change a child's whole world...and our world, too. And if you don't have the time, support someone who does by giving a donation to IF on our website: www.infinitefamily.org

Thursday, January 13, 2011

CNN Selects Amy Stokes as First “CNN Hero” of 2011


Founder of Infinite Family recognized for establishing only mentoring program using weekly video conversations to foster long-term nurturing relationships


New York, NY – January 13, 2011 – CNN today kicked-off its fifth annual “CNN Heroes” campaign, which seeks to identify ordinary individuals who go to extraordinary lengths to serve others, by announcing that it has selected Amy Stokes, Founder and Executive Director of Infinite Family, as the first CNN Hero of 2011. Pioneering an innovative approach to mentoring, Amy has been recognized for her efforts to connect African children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty with mentors around the world using video technology.

Through Infinite Family, an international organization she founded in 2006, Amy is dedicated to using technology as a way for adults around the world to nurture and support children challenged by HIV/AIDS and poverty who have little support and are faced with few choices. Without the appropriate life-skills and guidance, it would be nearly impossible for these children to grow up to be successful leaders of their families, their communities, and their countries.

By providing such key resources and support networks, Infinite Family inspires and motivates these children, allowing them to build the confidence, skills and global perspective that promote success. Today, early evaluations point to children’s clear gains in English, computer literacy, self-confidence, conflict resolution and problem solving skills. In addition, Infinite Family mentors report a uniquely inspiring experience and seek greater involvement. To learn more about Infinite Family and how you can become involved, please visit the newly-re-launched website at www.infinitefamily.org.

To read more about Amy and her work, please visit her dedicated profile page on CNNHeroes.com. A special broadcast tribute, “2011 CNN Heroes: Amy Stokes,” will also be airing according to the following schedule, breaking news contingent (please note that all times given are Eastern Standard Time):

Friday, January 14:
CNN: (*8a likely) 2pm
HLN: 6:30am, 6pm (*8p likely)
CNNi: 2a, 7a, 7p

Saturday, January 15:
CNN: 3p, 10p
HLN: 2p

Monday, January 17:
CNN en Espanol: 7p (more airs possible)


About CNN Heroes
CNN Heroes is a multiplatform campaign that shines a spotlight on everyday people who are changing the world. In 2010, the campaign received over 10,000 submissions from more than 100 countries. The Top 10 CNN Heroes will be selected later in the year by an esteemed Blue Ribbon Panel, which in 2010 included the likes of Muhammad Ali, Sir Richard Branson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges and Ricky Martin, among other humanitarians. More information on CNN Heroes, please visit: http://www.CNNHeroes.com.


About Infinite Family
Infinite Family is an international organization that connects African children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty, one on one, with mentors from around the world through video technology.  Via webcams, computers, and a secure, interactive internet platform, caring adults around the world see and speak weekly with their “Net Buddies,” motivating them to define and work toward their goals and helping them learn academic, technology and life skills. It starts with a face-to-face weekly conversation through the computer, but quickly becomes so much more. The impact of these relationships is profound on both ends of the relationship, expanding interest in all things South African through its mentor base in five countries, including South Africa, and across the U.S.

Infinite Family NGO partners include group homes and after-school programs with outreach to Berea, Alexandra and Soweto townships and informal settlements.  Early evaluations point to children’s clear gains in English, computer literacy, self-confidence, conflict resolution and problem solving skills. In addition, Infinite Family mentors report a uniquely inspiring experience and seek greater involvement.

Infinite Family is a 501c3 charity. All donations are fully tax-deductible. To learn more, please visit the Infinite Family website at: http://www.infinitefamily.org.